tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12202751606988172482024-03-05T01:07:08.874-08:00RamblingsI am a crazy teenage girl. Wait. That's redundant. Oh, well. I am crazier than the average teenage girl, which is saying a lot. I am crazy. No, I'm not, I'm just amazing. Hang on a second, I have to talk to myself about this....
Martha Kinsfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02560413512634559263noreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1220275160698817248.post-71630761563067028982018-05-29T16:03:00.002-07:002018-05-29T16:09:24.481-07:00We need to talk about the women in Solo: A Star Wars Story.<i>*</i>This blog post obviously contains spoilers for Solo: A Star Wars Story. Please do not proceed if you plan to watch it. You have been warned.*<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Solo: A Star Wars Story </i>is the newest chapter in the dynastic <i>Star Wars</i> saga, and though it has not cleaned up at box offices nearly as much as anticipated, it is an incredible movie and one I would definitely watch again.<br />
<br />
The main antagonist of the movie is, as the title suggests, Han Solo, portrayed by Alden Ehrenreich. He is joined in his adventure by a diverse cast of characters including Lando Calrissian (Donald Glover), Qi'ra (Emilia Clarke), Beckett (Woody Harrelson) and, of course, Chewbacca (Joonas Suotamo). The film portrays his origins on the planet Corellia, and follows him through perils and heroism. For a full synopsis of the film, please refer to its Wikipedia site. The plot is not what I'm here to talk about.<br />
<br />
I'm here to talk about the women.<br />
<br />
Solo: A Star Wars Story introduces us to two important females very early on - the short-lived, cruel, and disgusting Lady Proxima (Linda Hunt), and the beautiful, charming, clever Qi'Ra. Shortly after, we meet Val (Thandie Newton), Beckett's love interest and a full character in her own right. Later in the film we encounter female droid L3-37 (Phoebe Waller-Bridge), and finally we are introduced to a tribe of female warriors led by the badass Enfys Nest (Erin Kellyman).<br />
These are only the independent, strong, heavily-featured women. We also get many of the stereotypical arm-candy, background women, but this is a substantial list of main roles given to women. Honestly the feminism in this movie is so strong I'm surprised that Buzzfeed hasn't latched onto it yet.<br />
<br />
The first girl we meet is Qi'ra. Portrayed beautifully by Emilia Clarke, Qi'ra at first appears to be your typical movie female - gorgeous, absolutely in love with the protagonist, and reliant on him for getting out of her current unpleasant circumstances. She showed early on that she had some <strike>balls</strike> ovaries by helping Han with his escape from the planet. She then disappears, and returns in the second act, when Han is scheming with Beckett to follow through on a deal and get a payout. When they reunite at first, it again looks like she is assuming the role of loyal sidekick. After a few events take place (see the synopsis on Wikipedia) and you find out that not only is she married, she's married to Dryden Vos (a.k.a the crime lord that Han and Beckett really need to please in order to not die), her hubby decides to send her along on what he seems sure will be a suicide mission to Kessel to retrieve the fuel that Beckett promised him.<br />
On this mission, she proves her worth again and again, by being a BAMF who takes out enemies and strategies with the best of them. She does fall into a minor and relatively unimportant love triangle wherein Han tries to win her over but she reveals her commitment to her husband, but she springs back quickly into her BAMF self.<br />
The most important moment for Qi'ra comes at the climax of the movie. See the synopsis for details, but basically Han and Beckett return with the fuel for Dryden, but it turns out that Beckett has been double-crossing Han this entire time, so Beckett leaves with Chewie, and Qi'ra, Dryden, and Han are left alone in Dryden's "yacht." Han has a good fight with Dryden, but ends up losing, and Qi'ra who has been sneaking around to get to a sword this entire time threatens him with it. After a big show, Dryden tells Han that she's going to kill him, she never loved him, etc. At first, Qi'ra acts as if she agrees, but she ends by killing Dryden himself. She sends Han away, telling him she's following close behind. At this moment, I thought, <i>okay, she's awesome, and she chose her man wisely, if she had to choose one. I really hope she's not about to die right now. </i>However, the thing is, <i>she didn't choose a man.</i> She closes the "blinds," presumably securing the yacht, and calls up Darth Maul on a holograph. SHE HAS BEEN WORKING FOR THE SITH. THIS WHOLE TIME.<br />
I love Qi'ra because she was a free agent, she was independent, she had her own motives for doing what she did and she <i>used men to get herself to the top</i>. So often even the most "badass" or "independent" female characters are only badass and independent because they fight really well along side men or they rebel against one set of patriarchs with the help of some men. Qi'ra is a glass-ceiling-shattering masterpiece of independence. Yes, she turned out to be evil, but isn't that kind of amazing? When was the last time a male character was involved in that many plot twists?<br />
<br />
While not the most important female in the movie by far, and almost certainly the least likeable, Lady Proxima presents a side of the independent female we don't usually see. The Star Wars saga alone has an abundance of male characters who are similar to Proxima - Jabba the Hutt is a particularly identical example - but a female who runs a crime syndicate and is feared by her subordinates is rare. I'm not saying that Proxima is in any way a good person; she's one of the most disgusting creatures in the SW cinematic universe, but she is a strong, independent woman. I don't like her, but I like that she exists.<br />
<br />
Val is introduced as a criminal working with Beckett. It is shown that she has a badass set of skills and that she is strong and independent BEFORE it is revealed that she and Beckett are romantically involved. Shortly after this revelation, however, she sacrifices herself to save the mission, so unfortunately we don't get much more out of her. It is important to note, though, that she is a female martyr whose primary function was not as a romantic interest for a male. Even after she died, Beckett's mourning period was short. She wasn't presented as his motivation for continuing. Though this seems very sad, it is how Beckett would've reacted to the death of a close friend; of a male crew member. There were a couple "sorry for your loss"es from Dryden's people, and his angry grief was explosive, but even in death she was remembered as a soldier rather than a lover, which I find remarkable and very important.<br />
<br />
Don't get me S T A R T E D on L3-37. Oh, it's too late? That's literally what I'm writing this post for? Okay. Let's get started on L3-37. From the beginning, it is obvious that this droid is a rebel. She is first shown trying to convince two "fighting droids" (two gonk droids in a ring hacking chunks off each other - really, very sad) that they are worth more than this, that they should fight it, that they could have better lives. From this point on, she proves to be a revolutionary. There is one scene in which Qi'ra is confiding that Han is still in love with her and she's not sure how she feels about that, when L3-37 says that she is in the same situation herself. Naturally, I thought that she was going to say that she was in love with Lando, and Lando didn't feel the same way. However, L3 turns the tables and says that she is convinced that Lando is in love with her, and she doesn't feel the same way. Shortly following this, she answers Qi'ra's question about relationships between humans and droids by saying "oh, it works..." Is this... a casual sex joke? From a female? ASTONISHING! Though intended for comic relief, I'm sure, this scene is very similar to one you'd typically see two men having in the cockpit of a ship, but instead it was two women, which is New and Important.<br />
The most revolutionary moment for L3 is when she creates an actual revolution. In the spice mines of Kessel, she removes the restraining device from one droid and encourages <strike>him</strike> <strike>it</strike> her to do the same to other droids. These freed droids cause general mayhem and allow for the escape of the men in the mines. They come out of their computer room and aid the humans and L3 in fighting off the soldiers who are attempting to stop them from leaving. L3 dies in the crossfire, and though attempts to save her failed, Lando was able to extract her memory core and "download" her immaculate navigational system (she had the best in the galaxy, it was casually mentioned) into the Falcon, allowing the heroes to successfully make the Kessel run in under 12 parsecs (if you round down.). After she died, even, L3 was crucial to the mission and without her help, the protagonists could never have completed their quest. She was a crusader, she was independent, she was critical to the mission, and she was a woman. These characters are almost always exclusively men, and it is so refreshing to see a female in this role.<br />
<br />
Finally, and possibly my favorite, we get to Enfys. We actually meet Enfys quite early on in the film - she is trying to stop Beckett, Han, and co. from carrying out their robbery of fuel from a train - but we don't see her face until the final act. This is crucial because, since Enfys used a mask to distort her voice, we assumed that Enfys and her constituents were men. It was revealed, though, that she is a beautiful, redheaded, freckled, independent as fuck, leader of women. Her warriors are all women, and she is shown with a little girl in one of the final shots. She casually mentions that she does her work "as [her] mother did," implying that this is a matriarchal society, or at least that the job is handed down the matriarchal line. One common thread that is very unique to this story which ties all of these roles together and is very apparent in the case of Enfys is the casualness with which all of these people are female. There's no man going "wait... you're a girl" or telling someone they can't do something because they're a girl. Even the most important, most independent female roles have some guy or group of guys who don't believe that she is capable because she is a woman, and it's almost always a Really Big Deal that these characters are women; the films almost try <i>too </i>hard, sometimes, in this respect. Solo does not do this. I don't recall a female's authority or abilities being questioned once. Though, granted, we get a look of shock on the men's faces when they realize that Enfys is a woman, the shock quickly fades and it becomes casual. This movie acts as though it is normal for women to be these autonomous, powerful people, and that's amazing. That is the best kind of empowerment, honestly: casually putting women in positions of power as though there's nothing different about it. This is how men are treated all the time, and I think that reversing some of these expected roles shows people who may be prone to saying that women aren't oppressed or mis- or underrepresented that in fact they are, because it IS strange to see a woman in such a powerful role in a movie, and it's time we start asking ourselves WHY.Martha Kinsfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02560413512634559263noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1220275160698817248.post-41816166475513513422017-12-12T18:55:00.000-08:002018-06-08T22:52:46.688-07:00And They Loved Each Other<div class="MsoNormal">
Chapter One<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In between classes, I was hanging out in the library. I was
fiddling with my shirt in front of the bathroom mirror, trying to decide if I
should tuck it into my jeans or not. I’d just given up when a voice said from
behind me, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“it
looked cuter tucked in.” I turned around, and saw a girl with long brown hair
leaning against the wall, applying flaming red lipstick in a compact. When she
saw me staring at her, she tore her eyes away from her own reflection to glance
at me. “The shirt,” she clarified, gesturing at my torso, “it looked better
tucked in.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Oh…
um, thanks.” I turned back to the mirror and tucked my shirt in, spinning in
the mirror to make sure I hadn’t left a tail sticking up. The girl crossed the
small bathroom to lean against the wall next to the mirror, as opposed to the
wall opposite. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’m
Kathy,” she said, extending her hand. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Crystal.”
I said, accepting and shaking her hand with my own. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Is
this yours?” She gestured to the cup that was sitting on the shelf next to the
mirror.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yeah…”
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Good.”
Without warning, she grabbed the cup and took a swig. In one smooth motion, her
head launched forward and she spit out the drink. “What IS that?” She asked, a
disgusted look on her face. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“It’s
tea.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No,
it’s not, it’s… dirt water.” She stuck her tongue out and shuddered. “Gross.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Well,
nobody told you to drink it.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You
seem cool, I figured you’d have good drink taste.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I do.
That’s good tea. It’s orange spice.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“It’s
weird enough to drink <i>tea</i>, it’s
basically leaf water, but if you’re gonna do it you might as well have decent
leaf water.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Let me
guess, you drink…” I eyed the girl, taking in her skinny jeans, combat boots,
and plaid sweater, “black coffee straight out of the pot.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’m more of an orange juice person.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yeah,
well, if I could get two dozen glasses of orange juice for five bucks at the
corner store, I’m sure I’d be an orange juice person, too.” Trying to extricate
myself from the conversation, I shoved open the heavy swinging door and stepped
out into the stacks. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I was
kidding.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Gee, I
couldn’t tell.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I do
drink black coffee. I know, such a stereotype, right?” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“It
does fit the aesthetic.” I did my best to ignore her and continue walking. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Hey,
wait, talk to me,” she stepped in front of me and we almost had a collision.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“What
do you want?” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I
don’t know, a friend?” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Do you
usually make friends by criticizing their fashion and drinks of choice in the
bathroom?” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I
wasn’t criticizing your fashion. You were clearly trying to make a decision,
and I made it easier. Now, your leaf water, that I was criticizing. But come
on, it deserves it.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Why
should I be your friend?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“For
one thing, I’m pretty sure this is one of the most interesting conversations
you’ve ever had.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“True,
but not in a good way.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“For
another, I’m pretty cool. I don’t smoke anything—”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“That
does <i>not</i> fit the aesthetic.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Please
don’t interrupt my pitch. I don’t smoke anything, I’m a good student, I can
help you with your homework or whatever, and we’re in the same major – which I
know because I saw you at orientation - so we’re probably going to have a lot
of the same classes. Also, I have every streaming service available to me, and
I own a crap ton of music. I can play records, CDs, MP3s, even cassettes. I
have a wide music taste so if you like it, I probably have it. I don’t have a
roommate. In short, my dorm is the place to be for leaf water-swilling
microbiology majors who know how to really have fun.” She smiled proudly and
clasped her hands in front of her. I struggled to come up with something
negative to say. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I
thought your kind didn’t like friendships.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“My
kind?” She seemed genuinely flabbergasted. “Oh, you mean you think I’m super
emo or something? Because of the aesthetic? Well…” she peeled off her sweater
and revealed a pink T-shirt with some sort of French writing on it. “Fear not,
I am a woman of many faces. Not that I’m two-faced or anything. I’m really
trustworthy and genuine.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“If
you’re so awesome, why do you need more friends?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Because
it’s college and I don’t know anyone.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Why
me?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I
recognized you from orientation.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You
remembered me?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You
talked. A lot.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Gee,
thanks.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No,
no, in a good way. You asked a lot of really smart questions. And don’t think I
didn’t hear the music blasting from your phone at lunch. You have an emo soul.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I had
my brother’s old phone. I don’t like half that stuff.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Well,
I guess Fall Out People—”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“It’s
Fall Out <i>Boy</i>,” I blurted, before I
realized what I was saying. Kathy just laughed. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“It’s
okay, hon. Like I said, woman of many faces. I could sing Taylor Swift’s canon from
memory.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Do you
have the new album?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Only
in three formats.” I let out a little gasp.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Really?”
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yup.
Still thinking about turning down that offer of an amazing friendship?” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Well I
DO have a giant tub of super exotic coffee that my parents sent me that I am
never going to consume, but feel bad for wasting…”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Consider
it un-wasted. Give me your phone.” I held back a little bit, but she smiled.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’m
going to give you my number, silly.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Oh,
okay, duh.” I laughed at myself as I unlocked my phone, opened the ‘new
contact’ screen, and handed it to her. In a few seconds, she handed it back,
after taking a selfie for her contact image. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’ll
text you so you get my number.” I said, opening the messages tab on my phone. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Okay,
cool. I’ve got chemistry in, like, two minutes but do you wanna come over
tonight? If we post enough pictures of our listening party online, Taylor might
notice us.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“That
sounds great, yeah.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Awesome.
I live on the seventh floor of holt hall. Room 723.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I live
on the fifth floor! Room 515!” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“What
the hell? So cool! See you tonight at seven!” She yelled as she opened the door
leading to the main library. Just like that, she was gone, and I was left
reeling from the most bizarre human contact I had ever experienced. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Chapter Two<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Do you want to live with me next
year?” Kathy asked abruptly, swirling her fork in her chow mein. I looked up
from my position on the divan, trying to figure out if she was serious or not. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Seriously?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Of course. You’re my best friend.
I think we’d make good roommates. I mean, if you think it’s a bad idea, okay.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“No, no,” I crossed the room and
sat next to her. “I think that’s a really good idea.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Really?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Yeah. As long as you can put up
with my leaf water.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Shut up, that was months ago. I
was a different person.” She whacked me with a throw pillow.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Be careful with your food!” I
shouted, grabbing the plate of Chinese that had almost slid onto the floor.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Nice save.” She sat back, drawing
her feet up onto the bed. “So, you’re really okay with it?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Why wouldn’t I be okay with it?
You’re awesome. It’s way better than moving in with random people, anyway,
which is what I’d be doing otherwise.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yeah,
no, thanks. I’d rather live in the dorms again.” We faked retching in perfect
tandem. I giggled, Kathy laughed out loud.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I
think I’d rather live on the roof of the gym than the dorms.” I said.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“That’s
a tough decision. I hear the roof is haunted.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Haunted
by people who jumped off the roof because they lived in the dorms.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Don’t
joke about that.” She said, suddenly serious.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’m
sorry.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“It’s
okay. Just don’t joke about it.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Okay.”
I put an arm around her shoulder, reaching for her hand with my free one. “I’m
sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it. I love you.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I love
you, too,” she said, smiling. “I’ve just always taken that kind of stuff really
seriously. It’s not a joke to me.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I
know. It was thoughtless, and I’m really sorry.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“It’s
fine, really,” she said, although she wiped her eyes on her sleeve.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Do you
want to go get coffee or something?” I asked, after a moment.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I
believe you mean bean water.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“See,
I’ve given up making fun of your drink choice.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Clearly
you lack persistence.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I lack
stubbornness, if that’s what you mean.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Rude,”
she joked, smacking me again with the same throw pillow. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Oh,
it’s on!” I shouted, snatching a pillow and hitting her over the head with it.
She stood, and we fought for a good five minutes before collapsing in a helpless
pile of giggles. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’m
really glad I brought that up.” We were lying on our backs a few minutes later,
looking at the photos Kathy had arranged on her ceiling. Kathy clenched my hand
as she uttered this sentence. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Me
too. I’m actually excited for next year now. But,” I lifted myself onto my
elbow and looked at her. “Not to kill the mood or anything, but what happens
this summer?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“What
do you mean?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Are we
just… not going to hang out? I mean you’re my best friend, practically my
sister, I don’t want to be cut off from you for three months.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’m
sure we’ll visit each other.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“We
live a country away from each other. I know your family can barely afford to
send you here, and mine certainly can’t pay for round trip fare to California
from New York.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“That’s
true,” she refused to meet my gaze. “But we have jobs, you know, we have money,
what if…” she trailed off. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“What
if what? You know I hate it when you leave me in suspense.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“We
could get our apartment… before the summer.” She said this as though she’d been
planning it all along and she was pretty sure I wasn’t going to respond well.
She was right.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“What?
No!” I sat up. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Hear
me out—”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Why
not? Why is this such a horrible idea?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Because
I’m not just going to up and move away from my family, with no notice!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“They’d
have notice, and besides you already don’t live with them.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“That’s
different, and you know it. Getting an apartment is… permanent. A dorm is
something you’re supposed to move out of.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“We’re
getting an apartment a few months after that, anyway! Or is that not happening
anymore?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Look,
I know that your family sucks and everything, and I’m really sorry about that,
but I love my family. They mean everything to me. I want to spend as much time
with them as I can.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Oh, so
you decided to move across the country for school because you’re a daddy’s
girl?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“What
the fuck is that supposed to mean?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Just
that you clearly don’t care too much about spending your every waking moment
with them since you go to school 3,000 miles from them, and you haven’t even
seen them for, what, four months?” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I
can’t believe you just said that to me. I didn’t come here to get away from
them, I came here because this is a great school and I’ve wanted to go here
since I was a kid. The fact that you don’t know that, or are choosing to ignore
that—”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“The
fact that YOU’RE ignoring is that you are going to move away from them
eventually, and you practically already did, so why on earth wouldn’t you do it
two months earlier? You always talk about how poor your family is, wouldn’t
this be, I don’t know, cheaper?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You
know what, I need to think about this friendship for a while.” I picked up my
jacket and headed for the door. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Hey,
no, Chris-”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No, I
need to go clear my head and think about this. I don’t want to make decisions
right now because I am way too angry to think clearly.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Crystal,
wait.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Wait
for what? For you to apologize? Because we both know that’s not going to
happen.” I threw the door open and rushed into the hallway, running into
another girl who was standing by the elevator. “Oh, god, I’m so sorry.” I
managed a tight smile. Suddenly, a plate flew past my ear and hit the wall
across from Kathy’s door. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You
forgot your takeout!” Kathy screamed. “Oh, hi, Jules,” she said awkwardly to
the girl standing in the hall, who was mutely staring at us, eyes wide. Kathy
smiled and waved at her and then, behind the closing door, scowled and gave me
the finger. I turned away, shuddering, my mind racing, and numbly picked up the
plate and scraped up the scattered food. The elevator came and went while I was
attempting to pick grains of rice out of the carpet. My seething rage reduced
to a glowing anger, and finally I actually felt bad for the argument. It had
mostly been my fault, anyway. As I started to rise, the door beside my head was
flung open, and Kathy almost tripped over me. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Good
lord, what are you still doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be storming off and
‘thinking about our friendship,’ whatever that means?” Her eyes were puffy and
red. She sniffled. My heart ached, but I was determined not to give in so
easily. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Well,
you made a mess, so I stayed out here to clean it up.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Isn’t
that how it always is?” She chuckled through her tears. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Kinda.”
I laughed, feeling a lump forming in my throat. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’m so
sorry. Can we talk about this like rational adults?” She asked. I dried my nose
on the back of my hand.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Are
you kidding? Of course.” I stood and threw the last of the takeout wreckage
away. Kathy held her door open and we went into her bedroom, which had somehow
been turned completely upside down in the ten minutes that I’d been in the
hallway. There was a stack of photographs on her desk, pictures of the two of
us wherein my face had been brutally crossed out with my favorite lipstick.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Hope
none of those were polaroids,” I said, gesturing lamely at the heap.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Some
of them were, unfortunately.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“And
you ruined them with my lipstick.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yeah.
It was the pettiest thing I could think to do.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“That
is pretty petty, congratulations.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Okay,
let’s talk about this.” She sighed, scraping the pictures off the desk and into
the trash. She perched on the edge of the bed and I flopped down onto the
divan. “I totally get where you’re coming from with your drawbacks. Honestly, I
tend to forget that healthy familial relationships exist.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I
appreciate that you’re understanding my perspective, and I also appreciate the
strides you were making to solve a problem that I put forth.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Wow,
you’re really good at this.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I took
a communications class about argument last quarter.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Oh.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Anyway,
I do want to find a way to see each other over the summer, and I can agree that
getting an apartment early makes sense for a lot of reasons.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“But I
get that you want to spend the summer back home.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I was
thinking,” I said, choosing my words carefully, “what if you came home with me
this summer?” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Really?”
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I
mean, I’d be happy to have you, and I’m pretty sure my mom thinks of you as
family by now. As long as you promise not to fall in love with my brother or my
cousins or anything, I can’t think of a reason why you shouldn’t come up, as
long as your family would be okay with it.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Who
cares what they think?” She scoffed. “Anyways, they’d be fine with it. They
don’t care where I go or what I do, as long as none of it negatively impacts
them. And don’t worry about me falling in love with your male relatives.
They’re probably not my type.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’ve
been told that they’re cute.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Ew,
people talk to you about your family members like that?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You have
no idea. There was this girl my freshman year of high school who would
literally not shut up about how cute she thought my brother’s butt was.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“That
is disgusting. I think I would actually vomit if that happened to me.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I can
neither confirm nor deny the presence of vomit.” We laughed together for a
minute, but then Kathy returned us to the topic at hand. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“So,
you need to talk to your family about me coming home with you, and I should
probably let my folks know that they’re going to need to find a paid babysitter
this summer instead of enslaving me.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I am
so glad not to have younger siblings.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You’re
lucky, yeah. I always wished I had an older brother to, like, beat up my exes
for me.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You’d
be surprised. My big brother wouldn’t lift a finger for that. Half the time, he
didn’t know if I was dating anyone, let alone whom or what they were like. If
he had known and if I’d told him ‘go beat up that one, he hurt me,’ he
might’ve, like, given the guy a lecture or something, but I’m pretty sure that’s
the most violent he would ever get.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Really?
That’s so not how I pictured having an older brother would be.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I
think my brother’s just weird. My cousins are pretty standard big-brother fare.
We all went to school together and one of them even lived with us for a while,
so they were more involved with my love life than my brother was. I always fell
for their friends and they were the ones who were like ‘if he hurts you, I’ll
beat him up.’” I did my best macho man impression, but I’m pretty sure I just
sounded like a grandmother, judging by Kathy’s ensuing hysterics. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I
can’t wait to meet these great men, with their froggy voices.” She gasped out
through the laughter. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Oh,
hush, you know my impressions suck. By the way, you know it’s five thirty,
right? Don’t you have English in… five minutes?” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Crap!”
She rocketed up from her seat. “That’s what I was on my way to do when you were
so rudely still in the hallway! You beast!” I laughed as she snatched her
backpack and laptop and sprinted out the door. “Lock up after me! I love you!
I’ll call you tonight!” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Talk
to you later,” I laughed, waving as she disappeared into the elevator. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Chapter three<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
How do you tell someone you’re in love with them? Do you
just walk up to them and say <i>hello, my
dear, I realized something today, and that’s that I am in love with you</i>?
Are you supposed to spell it in rose petals in their favorite spot, or the
place you met? Do you write it in a card and leave the card on a box of
chocolates in their fridge? Do you just blurt it out on the spur of the moment?
Or do you, like I did, let this feeling fester in silence for as long as you
can? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The moment I realized I had to confess my love, we were on
my parents’ property back home in upstate New York. She was splashing in the
creek behind my house, chasing tadpoles, and the hem of her dress was dragging
in the water. Her shiny, soft hair was falling down in a curtain like she was
in a shampoo commercial. Her smile was lighting up her face, and most
importantly, she was happy. It wasn’t rare to see Kathy happy, but I’d never
seen her as happy as she was in that moment. I don’t know what it was, but
something about being away from her parents, being in the country and, I like
to flatter myself, being with me, made her shine with enthusiasm like she never
had before. I joined her in the creek, loving the feeling of the soft mud
between my toes and the cold water around my shins. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You
were supposed to guard the shoes!” Kathy squealed. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’m
pretty sure they won’t wander off,” I chuckled, reaching into the water to pick
up a stone. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’m
not worried about them moving independently, I’m worried about Jonathan moving
them.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Oh,
you’re right, I’m sure my evil brother is going to come steal our shoes.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Hey,
it’s not outside the realm of possibility. He stole our clothes that time.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“He
stole <i>your</i> clothes, you mean.” I
nudged her, and she blushed. That was the problem: Kathy was in love with my
brother. I’d seen it in her eyes the moment they met. I should’ve known to keep
her to myself. Not like she’d ever be into me like that, anyway. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“It’s
getting cold,” she said.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You’re
crazy.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’m
from <i>California</i>.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“My
point exactly.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Rude!”
She splashed me. I splashed her back, but she shoved me. I fell backwards and
barely caught myself, pulling her with me. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Jerk!”
I laughed, helping her up. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Your
mistake!” She cackled, shoving me back down. I was completely soaked.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You’re
going to get it!” I stood and made chase. She leapt out of the creek, slid her
feet into her moccasins, and snagged my sandals. “No! Come back!” I hopped out,
gingerly stepping, trying to avoid the stickers and spiny plants that littered
the ground. She was up the hill and on my back porch by the time I was five
feet from the water. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I
win!” She crowed, then she rushed down to help me. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Thanks
for nothing!” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Hey,
you’d be stranded here if it wasn’t for my kindness.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Your
shoe-stealing kindness is world-renowned, my lady.” I casually took her hand
and she let me. We walked together back to my house, swinging our hands like
schoolgirls. My mother was hanging clothes on the line, and we moved to help
her. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Oh,
hello, girls,” she said, smiling at us. “I thought that was Jon and one of his
friends playing in the creek, you both made so much noise.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Jon is
much too cool to play in the creek, mom, don’t you know?” I joked. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I
don’t know, he’s lightened up a lot since I got here,” Kathy remarked, grabbing
a shirt from the basket and pinning it to the line. “Just an outsider’s
opinion, he seems to have really opened up.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Well,
you’ve got him listening to music besides The Scorpions, I’ll give you that,”
my mother said lightheartedly. “And don’t you dare call yourself an outsider.
You’re a part of this family now.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Thanks,
Mrs. P.” Kathy smiled warmly and paused for a second before wrapping her arms
around my mother. “You are more like a mother to me than my own mom, and you’ve
only known me for two months.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Oh,
please,” my mom said, “I’ve known you since that day in the library. Do you
know, the moment you left Crystal in that library she called me? ‘Mom, I’ve
just met the most bizarre person,’ she said. Turns out, she was wrong.” She
smiled, but Kathy clutched her bosom.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’m
not the most bizarre person? I, with my plaid, and my combat boots, and my
purple eyeliner, am not the most bizarre person? Who have you met who is more
bizarre than me? I must fight them. There can be only one.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Well,
for one thing, Jon’s not the only one who’s lightened up since you got here,
and I assure you, I meant only compliments. You are such a lovely girl.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Aw,
I’m gonna cry. Thank you so much, Mrs. P.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Oh,
please, you can call me m—”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Hey,
aren’t we making dinner tonight?” I asked, before my mom could finish her
sentence. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Oh,
yeah, and I wanted to make that steak that takes forever.” Kathy said, hugging
my mom one last time before we headed into the house. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“What
was that?” she asked, once we were alone inside. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I
just… wanted to get dinner going.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Are
you jealous? Because you don’t need to be jealous. Your family and I aren’t
going to take each other from you.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Except
you and my mom and my brother. Great, I get to keep my dad!” An edge of
bitterness had made its way into my voice, although I’d really tried to keep it
out. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Hey,
no. How many times do I have to tell you that I don’t like your brother like
that? And your mom is just… okay, yeah, she’s an amazing mother and I would
totally steal her if I could, but you guys have an incredible bond. She’s never
going to, like, love me more than you, or anything.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You
are <i>so</i> in love with my brother.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Chris,
I promise, I am not in love with your brother. I really, sincerely promise. I
would tell you if I was. I’m not. Can you trust me on that?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I
don’t know, I’ve seen the way you two look at each other.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“What,
like siblings? Because that’s all that’s coming from me. I promise.” Just then,
my brother himself stepped into the kitchen. He was shirtless, of course, and
completely soaked.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You ladies cooking dinner
tonight? Awesome! Hey, Kath, you’ve gotta make those green things.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Which
green things?” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“The
green soft things. The California things.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Oh,
the avocado wedges?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Those!”
He slammed his hand down on the counter, which made us both jump. “Those were
delicious. I would marry you—those, if I could.” He started to blush.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Hey,
Jon, maybe you should go put on a shirt and take your foot out of your mouth.”
I said, pushing him towards the kitchen door. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Avocadoes!”
He shouted before stepping into the dining room and shutting the door behind him.
I turned back to Kathy, whose mouth was agape. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Okay,
Chris, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but he is an idiot.” She set the
dishtowel she’d been holding down on the counter. “For one thing, he called me
Kath. He knows I hate that. Then, he couldn’t remember the word avocado. And
then…” she waved her hand and scoffed. “I guess you might be right about him,
but I promise you, the feeling does not go both ways. And he’ll probably get
over it. I’m just a novel concept. It’s the new girl effect. It’ll wear off.
Besides, I don’t like him. I really don’t.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Really?
I saw the way you were looking at his abs. You were shocked.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yeah,
because who walks around without a shirt? How many brain cells does it take to
rule that out as acceptable?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Hey, that
is my brother you’re talking about.” I jumped to Jon’s defense. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Sorry.
But really, there’s nothing there, not from me.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Really?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yes,
why can’t you ever just trust me?” She glanced at the doors to the kitchen,
then out the windows, and leaned in. “Look, I haven’t told many people this. I
told my family, and their reaction is part of why I don’t ever want to see them
again. I didn’t want to tell you until… I don’t know, until we’d reached a
certain point. We’ve reached that point. I have a secret, a big secret. You
have to promise not to tell anyone.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Of
course, I promise.” I hoped she couldn’t see the way my knees were trembling or
hear my breath coming faster and faster. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’m
gay. I don’t like boys.” She let out a breath, and I bit down on my lip to keep
from squealing. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yeah,
no, I know what gay means. You’re… really? Huh.” I felt as though I’d suddenly
become an oil slick.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“If
that makes things weird between us, or anything, I get it. Just… please think
about it before you throw me out on my ass.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“This
doesn’t change things at all. I mean it every time I say I love you. I…” I stopped
myself. “You’re my best friend. You’re an amazing person. You mean the world to
me, no matter what, and I will always care about you. Nothing can change that.
Okay?” I smiled and wiped a tear off her face. She smiled, and tucked my hair
behind my ears before hugging me tightly. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Thank
you so much.” I could feel her tears wetting my shoulders. “you are my best
friend. I love you so much.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I love
you more.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No,”
she leaned back and sniffled. “I love you more. I mean it. You don’t get to
fight me on this.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Okay.”
I chuckled, holding her face between my hands, feeling her cheekbones beneath
my fingers, admiring the eyelash curve of her lips and the luscious curve of
her eyelashes. I was filling up fast with emotions and I didn’t want to spill
any of them to her, so I looked away quickly and went to the fridge. “We should
start cooking.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You’re
right.” Kathy came up behind me and casually placed one hand on my hip while
looking over my shoulder into the fridge. Her breath on my neck gave me
goosebumps. Almost instinctively, I placed my hand over hers and gave hers a
squeeze. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Chapter four. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our ocean-wave bodies crashed into the shore that was my
bed, and we were a tangle of limbs and sweat and heavy breathing. Her hair was
in my face and her hands were in my hair, and my legs were entwined with hers
and our breath was on each other’s faces. I pulled her close, and our lips met.
She broke the kiss first, shoving back just an inch. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“We’re
drunk,” she whispered, her words dancing across my lips. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Are
you drunk?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No, I
didn’t drink anything. Are you drunk?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Good.”
She bit her lower lip and a bewitching smile crept up her face. She tangled a
hand in my hair and sat up against the wall, pulling me with her. I was
straddling her lap and we were kissing, and it was so heavenly. I had imagined
kissing Kathy for a year and a half, and finally getting to do it exceeded my
every expectation. Her lips were softer than I ever could have imagined, and
her delicate hands were caressing my jawbone, my hair, my neck, so unlike the
meaty paws of every boy I’d ever kissed. I was unsure what to do with my own
hands, so I simply rested them on her shoulders. She leaned forward, pushing me
back onto the bed, and she crawled down next to me, breaking the kiss. And then
we stopped. We lay there in the darkness, her arm across my stomach, my arm
under her neck, looking at each other. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I
liked that.” She whispered. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I
liked that, too.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You’re
my best friend.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You’re
my best friend, too.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You
sound like an idiot.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You
sound like an idiot, too.” I laughed, and she caught my smile in another kiss.
After a moment, she pulled back, stuck out her tongue, and barely licked the
tip of my nose. I giggled, and she buried her face in her hands.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I
don’t know why I did that, sorry.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“That’s
okay, it was cute.” We were silent for a few minutes, just listening to each
other’s heart beats and holding one another. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Is
this going to be a one-time thing?” she asked, breaking the silence. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“God, I
hope not,” I blurted. “Sorry, is that too aggressive?” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Not at
all. I hope not, too.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Do you
wanna—”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Will
you be my girlfriend?” She cut me off, leaning up on an elbow and looking down
at me. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No,
see, I was going to ask <i>you</i> if you
wanted to be <i>my </i>girlfriend. No fair
beating me to it.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yeah,
well, I came out first. That comes with certain privileges.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Excuse
me, I only didn’t come out because I thought you were straight and in love with
my brother.” I barely finished the sentence before I burst out laughing. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“That
is the most hilarious thing you’ve ever said,” she said, wrapping her arm more
tightly around me. “Anyways, will you be my girlfriend?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“What,
no flowers? No cheesy-yet-impossibly-romantic setting?” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Well,
at least I didn’t say ‘do you wanna go out some time?’ like someone I know.”
She shot me a pointed look. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“that
is <i>not</i> what I was going to say!” I
pretended to be hurt. “I was going to say, ‘do you wanna be my girlfriend.’
That is much less of a middle school boy ask.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You’re
right, it’s a high school boy ask. So much better.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Ouch,
burn. It is better, though, I was defining the relationship. I didn’t just
start making out with you at a party and then expect everything to go back to
normal.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No,
thank god you aren’t Chad Bradshaw.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Is
this a bad time to tell you that I used to be a dude named Chad Bradshaw?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Oh,
you’re my first of two boyfriends? That explains the nasty leaf water.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’m
hurt.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“So,
anyway, will you?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Will I
what?” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Be my
girlfriend, you moron.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Of
course, I’ll be your girlfriend, you moron. I’ve only been in love with you
since the moment I laid eyes on you.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yeah,
well I’ve been in love with you since the moment I laid eyes on you, which was
before <i>you</i> laid eyes on <i>me.</i> So, I win.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Wow,
everything’s a competition with you lately.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I have
to prove my dominance in the relationship. I have to be the man.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“What,
so you get to be the man?” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Well,
we have to have a definitive answer when we get asked ‘so, um, who’s the man in
your relationship?’” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“At
least it’s better than ‘but what do you do with all the sandwiches?’”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“What…
on earth does that mean?” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You
know, ‘woman get in there and make me a sandwich’? ‘The problem with being a
gay guy is you don’t have anyone to make your sandwiches, the problem with
being a lesbian is you don’t have anyone to eat your sandwiches’? Have you
really never heard those before?” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’ve
heard the first one, I think the second one is just a you-thing.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“It’s
so not just a me-thing.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“It
totally is.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Well,
if it is, it’s a pretty great me-thing.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I
think all your you-things are pretty great.” She nuzzled her hair into my neck,
and I bit back a squeal of delight. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I feel
like a fangirl getting to date my favorite celebrity,” I whispered. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Bet
you’re glad now that you couldn’t decide how to tuck your shirt in.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I knew
it was supposed to be tucked in, I was obviously just trying to get you to talk
to me.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Oh,
yeah, totally.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You’d
better believe it.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Was
the gross leaf water a trick, too? Because I gotta confess, that’s part of why
I fell in love with you. So, if that wasn’t real, you’d better tell me now.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“That
was orange spice tea and I was very into it at the time, thank you very much.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Uh-huh,
sure. I’m going to go to sleep. I’m tired.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Okay.
Take your shoes off.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Take
them off for me.” She laughed, but I sat up.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No,
no, I was kidding. You’re not my slave. You don’t have to do that.” I swatted her
hands away and gently unlaced her sneakers and slid them off her feet. I kicked
off my shoes and lay back down. She wrapped herself back around me and buried
her face in my neck.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I love
you.” She whispered. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I love
you, too.” And this time it meant something completely different than the other
million times I’d told her those three little words. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Chapter Five<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Just before Christmas break our sophomore year, we were
walking downtown, doing some shopping.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Are
you sure you want to come home with me over break? Won’t your family miss you?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Oh,
honey, I think now that my gayness is official, my family would rather spend
Christmas in Australia fighting giant spiders than with me.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“That’s
another thing; my mom knows about me, but she doesn’t know about… us.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“It’s
been almost a year, you haven’t told her yet?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I
don’t know, it just… it never came up.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I
don’t know how I feel about that.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I
don’t want to hurt her.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“How
would your happiness hurt her?” She stopped, and faced me. “You are happy, aren’t
you?”<br />
“How could you say that?
Of course I’m happy. I love you more than anything in the world. You make me
happier than I knew I could be.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Okay.”
She started walking again.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Hey,
wait, Kathy, I’m sorry. Here, I’ll tell her right now.” I shifted around my
grocery bags and dug my phone out of my pocket. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Oh, my
god, are you sure?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yes.
It’s time.” I dialed my mom’s number and held my phone up to my ear. Kathy took
my bags in one hand and my hand in the other. She held it tightly as my mother
answered the phone.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Hello,
dear!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Hi,
mom.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“What’s
going on?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Nothing,
really, I just have something I want to tell you.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Are
you okay?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yes,
mom, I’m fine. It’s something good.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Okay,
what is it?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You
know Kathy?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“The
one who lived with us last summer and is coming over for Christmas? Yes, of
course, I know Kathy.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Okay,
well, um, mom, she’s… she’s my girlfriend.” Silence. “We’ve been dating since
March. We wanted to wait to tell you until we knew it was going to stick and,
well, I think it’s going to. I love her so much, mom, she makes me so, so
happy. Are… are you there?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yes,
I’m here,” my mom said, and I could hear the tears in her voice. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Are
you okay?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’m
fine. This is wonderful. Oh, Chris, I knew the moment I saw you two together
that you were more than just friends.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Really?
You’re not… you’re not upset?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You’re
happy, why on earth would I be upset? This is so much better than when you
called to tell me that Tim Radonovick asked you out and there was nothing I
could do to make you say no.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Mom,
gross!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Do you
want to tell your father and brother, or shall I?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I… I
don’t know…” I glanced at Kathy, who mouthed some words that I didn’t
understand. I freaked out and just blurted, “I’ll tell them.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You’re
sure?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Of course
I’m sure. I told them I was a lesbian, I can tell them I’m with the love of my
life.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Your
poor brother is going to be heartbroken. I tried to tell him Kathy wasn’t
interested in him…”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Oh,
god, he’s not still hung up on her, is he?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’m
afraid so. He asks about her pretty much every day.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I
mean, I don’t blame him…”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Here
comes your father now, and Jon with him. I’ll put you on speaker.” She paused
briefly, and suddenly I could hear room-noises: people walking around, a
ceiling fan whirring, clocks ticking. “Go ahead, Crystal.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Here,
I’m going to put us on speaker, too, so Kathy can talk.” Kathy’s eyes widened,
and I gave her my most pleading look. She nodded. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Okay,
hi, Mrs. P, Mr. P.” She said.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Hi,
Kathy!” Jonothan shouted. “How are you doing?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Hey,
Jon,” she practically groaned, “I’m doing really well. And yourself?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I miss
you!” He blurted, and Kathy and I cringed.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Well,
dad, Jon, Kathy and I have some news.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Oh,
god, they’re dropping out of school.” My father sighed. “Well, Chris, we love
you—”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No,
dad, it’s not that. Kathy and I are…”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“We’re
dating.” Kathy finished. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“What?”
Jonothan cried, “You’re gay?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I
tried to tell you,” my mom chided, “but you wouldn’t listen.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“This
isn’t fair! This sucks!” Judging from the background noise, my brother stormed
out of the room.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’m
sorry about that, honey,” my mom said. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“It’s
okay. Dad? Are you there?” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yes,
I’m here.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“What
do you… what do you think of that?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I guess…
I don’t know, Crystal. Do you think she could be the one for you?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yeah,”
I said, looking over at the girl of my dreams and smiling. “I think she
definitely could be.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Then
all right. I guess it’s fine by me. Is she still coming over for Christmas?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“If
that’s okay, I’d love to.” Kathy chimed in. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You’ll
be sleeping in separate bedrooms, then.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Gregory…”
my mother sighed.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No,
mom, it’s okay. If Jonathan brought a girl home, they’d have to sleep in
separate bedrooms, too. I wasn’t expecting anything else.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I love
you both,” my mom said. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I love
you, too!” Kathy and I said in unison.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I
guess we’ll see you in a couple of weeks.” My father said, “Congratulations.
And Kathy…”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yes,
Mr. P?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“If you
hurt her, I will come after you.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“If she
hurts me, I can come after her myself, dad.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Fine. If
you hurt her, she’ll come after you, and I will be close behind.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Got
it,” Kathy laughed, “hurting her is the last thing I’d ever do, but I’ve got
it.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Good.”
My father said, and the line went dead. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I hugged Kathy so tightly that she dropped our bags. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“That
went so well!” She squealed.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“SO
well! Except for poor Jon.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Your
mom really did try to warn him.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“He’s
so dim sometimes, I swear. In some ways he’s the smartest person you’ll ever
meet, but he’s so, so dim.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’m
just so happy that that went well.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Me,
too.” We retrieved our bags and set off again down the street, our hands
clasped, each feeling so much lighter than we had for a long while. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Chapter six<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Class
of 2018, I have never been prouder than I am right now.” The applause swelled
to fill the arena as the dean of our university took the stage. “Over the last
four years, I have had the pleasure of meeting all of you in one context or
another, and I can honestly say that you are the most… unique class that our
establishment has ever seen.” A chuckle rose from the audience and the seated
students. I glanced up from the program that I was clutching in my fist and
stared three rows ahead of me and three seats to the left, where Kathy sat
between our friends Gregory and Chevon. She looked stunning, as usual, in her
shimmering red graduation cap and gown with her sharp black tassel, complete
with a bedazzled <i>’18</i> charm. I hated
the way I looked in red; it brought out my acne and somehow made my face look
even redder than it already was, but Kathy was the sort of girlfriend who
maintained that I looked good no matter what I was wearing, and that, as she
put it, ‘what’s on the inside matters, too.’ I only wished she’d been seated
next to me instead of Chevon, who was a stunning, tall redhead. She was
straight as far as I knew, but Kathy was totally cute enough to turn a girl. I
tried not to be the jealous type, but I knew for sure that I was the reacher in
our relationship, which meant that Kathy was the settler, which meant that she
could find better than me. I knew she wasn’t looking for better, but we’d been
having a bit of a rough patch lately and I was always anxious that better might
find her, and she wouldn’t be able or want to deny it. Every so often, though,
she’d glance back at me throughout the ceremony and wink or grin, or somehow
reference an inside joke, and my confidence soared; she hadn’t so much as
looked at Chevon all night. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After
we’d all collected our diplomas and switched our tassels around and met and
greeted the audience, Kathy and I tried to figure out where we should go.
Chevon, Greg, Greg’s brother Mitchell, and Mitchell’s girlfriend Nancy were all
going to some bar with some of our other acquaintances, but I had work in the
morning and really didn’t want to go get drunk. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Can’t
you just call in?” Kathy pleaded. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Baby,
no. I’m the only one working my shift. They actually need me.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I
actually need you, too. Come on, it will be so much fun.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Why
don’t you just come home with me, and we can celebrate tomorrow night?” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Because
tomorrow night we won’t have just graduated fucking college.” She said, like I
was the idiot of the century. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Hey,
yes we will have. And the bar won’t be as crowded. Think how many people are
going to be there tonight.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Exactly!
The energy there will be <i>phenomenal</i>.
There will be so many people that we know! It’ll be, like, the last social
event we go to with our class. Come on, please?” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Kathy,
hon, I’m really tempted, but the fact is I <i>can’t</i>.
I really can’t. I need the money and I could not go to work after staying up
all night.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“What
are you, a grandma?” Kathy scoffed unkindly, and the group behind her laughed,
too. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No,
look, just go. Fine. Go without me. I’ll be at home waiting for you. Just,
please be safe. Take an uber or a taxi, or something. Don’t drive, don’t let
any of them drive.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Thanks,
mom, I will.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Hey,
wait,” I stepped after her. “I love you.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I love
you, too. I just don’t love when you’re a party pooper.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’m
sorry to be a party pooper. I promise not to poop on any parties that don’t
interfere with my ability to pay for our lives.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“That
was over the line!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“What,
and calling me grandma wasn’t?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I was
kidding.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No,
you weren’t.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yes, I
was.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Fine,
then so was I.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You
know what, I’m done. I’m going out and you’re just going to have to deal with
it. Okay? I will see you later.” She turned on her heel and walked off with
Greg and Chevon, peeling off her gown as she went. I didn’t even fully realize
that I was crying until I felt a tear drip off the tip of my nose. I turned,
drying my eyes, and forged my way through the crowds towards the parking lot. I
finally made it through and remembered where I’d parked my car, but when I got
there, it was gone. I picked up my phone to call Kathy, only to see that I had four
new texts from her. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Need the car. Want to
drive and drop me off?</i> <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Hello? <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Going to take it. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Chevon says her aunt’s
here and could probably give you a ride. Ttyl.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I sank down onto the pavement and buried my head in my arms.
I didn’t even try to hold back my sobs. I couldn’t believe this. Kathy was
completely not the person I’d fallen in love with four years ago. I still loved
her, but I didn’t understand why she was being such a… such a <i>bitch</i>. She wasn’t usually like this. I
tried to think what could’ve caused her to act so differently, but a hand on my
shoulder interrupted my thoughts. I jumped a little bit, and looked up. A kind
enough-looking guy was looking down at me slightly awkwardly.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’m
really sorry, it’s just, you’re kind of leaning on my car.” I stood, brushed
off my ass, and blushed.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’m so
sorry, oh my god.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“It’s
fine.” He opened the driver’s door and turned. “Hey, are you okay?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yeah,”
I lied, “totally fine.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Are
you sure? It doesn’t seem like it.” I scoffed.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Okay,
I’m not totally fine. My… I don’t want to get into it. Sorry.” He held his
hands up.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Hey,
that’s fine. Do you need a ride?” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I
don’t usually take rides with strangers, sorry. Thank you so much.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“We’re
not strangers.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“What?
I’m sorry, I don’t remember you.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“We had
chem lab together a couple years ago. I spilled hydrochloric acid. They had to
shut down our floor for a couple days.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Mike?”
I asked incredulously. He nodded.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Guilty.”
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Wow, I
totally forgot about that until just now. Oh my god, that was horrible. Ari
would not stop screaming at you.” I laughed, briefly forgetting my troubles.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Tell
me about it. My head hurt for hours afterwards.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Because
of the yelling, or the acid?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“That’s
a good question.” He laughed. “So, anyway, ride? I’d be happy to get you
wherever you need to go.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“That
would actually be fantastic. I live over on 45<sup>th</sup>. Not too far.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“That’s
on my way home. Hop in.” I smiled and walked around his car. He pushed my door
open from the inside. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“thank
you so much.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No
problem. You’re… Caitlyn, right?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Crystal.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Oh,
duh, I’m so sorry.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“It’s
okay. My own brother forgets my name sometimes.” That wasn’t true, but somehow
it felt like the thing to say. He laughed and backed out of his parking spot.
We drove in silence for a few minutes, until he turned onto my street. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Okay,
now it’s the apartment complex up here on the right. There’s a really big speed
bump, be careful.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Thanks,”
he smiled and slowly turned into my parking lot. He pulled into a parking spot,
and I got out. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Thank
you so much for the ride, Mike. It was great to see you again.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“What,
you think I’m going to leave without making sure you get home safe? Not a
chance.” My creepy-dude spidey sense started tingling. I kept up a sweet face
so he might not notice me trying to get away from him. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No,
it’s fine. You’re not even technically supposed to be parked here, so you might
actually want to get a move on before they ticket you.” I laughed nervously. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Oh,
that’s fine. They can ticket me all they want, I am not letting you walk home
alone.” He stepped closer, and I was suddenly aware of how tall he was. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’m
really close, so, you know, I’ve got it.” I smiled and turned to leave. In a
flash, he was at my side. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Well,
if you’re close, I won’t be parked illegally for very long.” He smiled down at
me. I took a deep breath and pulled my phone out of my pocket, trying to look
busy, hoping he would go away. He didn’t, and I certainly didn’t want to lead
him right to my door, so I meandered around for a couple minutes. He started to
get irritated. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“We’ve
walked around this whole complex. Are you lost?” He uttered the most fake laugh
I’d ever heard and glanced around him. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No,
no, I’m just… looking for something.” I was grasping at straws, I knew, but I
had to get him to leave me alone. “My neighbor’s cat went missing, we all pitch
in to look for her. I figured I’d look around. You can go, really, it’s okay.”
I stopped below a walkway that connected two apartment buildings. We were
illuminated by four porch lights and were in plain view of two apartments. If I
had to take a stand, I was going to take it there. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I just
want to keep you safe.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“That’s
not really your job. I’m fine. Please, just go. I don’t want your car getting
towed.” I smiled, forcing myself not to scream. Then, he stepped closer.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“If you
take one more step, I will scream.” I said through my teeth. He stopped.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“What?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I
said, if you take one more step, I will scream.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Where
is this coming from?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I
don’t know, maybe from you being a creep and refusing to leave me alone, for
starters.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I was
just trying to be a gentleman!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Then
here’s your chance to prove it. Turn around, get back in your car, and leave me
alone. Forever.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Why
are you being such a bitch?” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’m
being a bitch?” I laughed. “I’m sorry, what?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Fuck
this.” He turned and stormed off, seeming to think that this would offend me.
It obviously didn’t. I climbed the stairs to my neighbor’s porch and watched
him get in his car and drive off. He forgot about the speed bump, and scraped
the bottom of his car. I stifled a laugh. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
By the time I made it back to my apartment, my legs were
jelly as the gravity of the evening settled upon me. Did I even have a
girlfriend anymore? Had I really been stalked by a guy I used to have chem lab
with? Was the real world really this horrible? I picked up my phone and shakily
dialed Kathy’s number. She picked up after the first ring. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’m so
sorry.” She blurted by way of a greeting. “I shouldn’t have come out tonight.
They jacked up the drink prices and the music sucks and I miss you. I didn’t
realize it before now, but all that stuff that normal people think is fun, none
of it’s fun for me if you’re not around.” Normally I would’ve been awed by the
sweetness and sudden change of mood, but I was still awash with fear from my
encounter with Mike. Over the next few minutes, I told my girlfriend
everything. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I
remember you talking about him – wasn’t he super creepy when you had class
together, too?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I
don’t know, I barely remembered his name.” I sobbed.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“That
bastard,” she growled. “Don’t move. I am on my way home. I’m sorry. I love you
so much. I’ll be right there. I’m sorry.” She hung up without saying goodbye. I
lay on my bedroom floor, fully clothed, crying softly until I heard someone
unlocking the front door and then locking it behind them as soon as they
entered. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Babe?
It’s me.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’m in
the bedroom,” I said, my voice crackly with disuse. She came in and sat down
next to me. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Do you
want to talk about it anymore?” I shook my head no. “Do you want some soup or
something? Some chocolate? A cupcake?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I just
want to feel clean.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You
are clean, baby. I know it’s gross, I know it was terrifying, but you’re okay.
Did he hurt you?” I shook my head. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Not
physically.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Good,
so I don’t have to add murder to my rap sheet for now. You want to go to bed?” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yeah.
That sounds nice.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Okay,
let’s get you into bed. Can I touch you?” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yeah.
Thank you for asking.” I smiled. She had to be the most thoughtful person ever.
She helped me stand up, then she helped me take off my gown – I’d already lost
my cap – and the dress I wore under it. She picked out a set of soft pajamas
and guided me into them. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Thank
you. I love you so much.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Of
course. I love you more.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No,
you don’t. Tonight I love you more, and you don’t get to fight me on that.” I
was sitting on the edge of my bed and she was standing in front of me. She
smiled and nodded.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Okay.
I love you. Let’s get you to sleep.” She folded back the covers and crawled
into bed, spreading her arms for me to join her. I curled into her familiar
shape, her soft stomach and breasts and thighs comforting against my spine and
shoulders and legs. She wrapped me in her arms and placed gentle kisses along
my neck until I fell asleep. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Chapter seven.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We were back in New York walking through the neighborhoods
I’d grown up in, window shopping and talking about the future. It was snowing
and the flakes were getting caught in Kathy’s hair. Her cheeks were glowing and
the white flakes contrasted so greatly with her dark hair, she looked like she
belonged in some sort of holiday ad. I wanted to shower her with kisses but
we’d decided we should ease ourselves into the community, staring out just
walking together, and then holding hands, and then maybe kissing sometimes. We
were in the holding hands phase, and nobody had tried to murder us yet. We were
paused in front of a toy display and I was telling her some story about when I
was a little kid when she cut me off. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“We
need to plan for the future.” She said abruptly. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Oh…
okay.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I
mean, not right now, obviously, but at some point. We can’t stay in your
parents’ house forever.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“My dad
knows some people who are in real estate here, maybe we could talk to him about
helping us find an apartment.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“We
want to find an apartment here?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“There’s
no need to sound so disdainful.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’m
sorry, I didn’t mean to sound disdainful. I was just asking. That’s what you
want?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Well,
I mean, what else is there?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“There
are other places, for one thing, and there are houses as opposed to
apartments.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Houses
are much more expensive.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“That
is true, but they’re also more of a lifetime investment. They’re more
permanent. Your landlord can’t kick you out with a week’s notice.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“The
bank can.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Okay,
so not a house.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No,
no, that’s not what I meant,” I said, getting defensive. “I’m just nervous.
I’ve never struck out on my own before.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You’re
not on your own.” She said. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I
know.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You’ll
never be on your own ever again.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“What?”
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And she got down on one knee.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Crystal
Marie Podalski,”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And she pulled out a velvet box.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I have
been in love with you since the moment I saw you.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I started to cry.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I know
the future is terrifying but it’s a lot less terrifying with you in it.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And strangers started looking at us.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I
don’t care what happens to us tomorrow, or next week, or next year,”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I didn’t care that they were staring. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“We
could live in your parents’ house for the rest of our lives as long as you’re
with me.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And she opened the box. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Will you
marry me?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I cried so hard that I barely managed to gasp out, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yes,
of course, I’ll marry you.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And she stood, and we kissed, right there in front of that
crowd of people who started to cheer and clap and cry. She pulled back, and I
said, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I just
have to say one thing.” The crowd began to disperse, thankfully, as I took a
knee. Kathy gasped and put her hands over her mouth. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Katherine
Eleanor Branger, I am completely, irreparably in love with you. They say that
when you’re truly in love with someone, you know in the first day. With you, I
knew in the first minute that you were the person I wanted to spend the rest of
my life with. When you realize that you want to spend the rest of your life
with someone, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. So,”
I pulled out my own little velvet box and opened it to reveal a thin silver
band with a small arrangement of blue stones, “Will you marry me?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“That’s
a little redundant,” she sobbed, smiling widely and reaching a hand down for me
to put the ring on. I teasingly pulled the box back.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I need
you to say it. I can’t yell it if you don’t say it.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Oh,
god, don’t yell it.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I
won’t if you don’t want me to but I need you to say it.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yes,
you moron. I’ll happily marry you. You dork.” She bit her lower lip and grinned
as I slid the ring onto her ring finger and stood to kiss her. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Aren’t
you going to yell it?” She asked, winking. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“She
said yes!” I yelled at the top of my lungs. There was another cheer. I leaned
in and whispered in Kathy’s ear, “Oh, god, is there a crowd?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“It
sort of disappears when you’re down there, doesn’t it?” She laughed. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Everything
disappears when I look at you.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Remind
me never to get in a car with you ever again.” We both smiled, and we kissed
again. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I had
this whole romantic evening lined up, so I’m afraid I need you to come with
me,” I said.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Oh,
no, I wrecked your proposal?” She seemed genuinely upset so I rushed to comfort
her.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No,
no, no, never. You made it so much more special. And besides, this way I get
the last word.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“But I
got the first, so I win.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I said
I love you first, though.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“But I
asked you out <i>and</i> I proposed. You’ve
got to get your head in the game, Podalski.” Just then, we rounded a corner and
the violins started playing and I started telling my story. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“When I
was a little kid, I used to walk along this street and I would picture meeting
the love of my life in that café right there.” I pointed into the most kitschy
café in existence, that had been the location for all of my imaginary meet
cutes. “Then I got older, and I realized true love doesn’t work like that. You
don’t have to meet someone in a cute or romantic way for them to be the one for
you. You can meet them in a bathroom, while they’re putting on makeup and you’re
trying to figure out if you should tuck your shirt in or leave it out.” We were
walking towards the source of the violin music, but we had one more stop before
we got there. “When I was a teenager, I sat in this record store and I listened
to romantic music and I imagined dancing in the dark with the love of my life,
to my favorite song. Will you dance with me?” I pushed open the door, revealing
a small store decked out with roses and candles, with ‘Earth Angel’ by The
Penguins blasting through the giant, old speakers perched on the counter. Kathy
was crying in earnest now, happy sobs racking her entire frame. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Are
you okay?” I asked, pulling her close for a dance. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Are
you kidding? This is the sweetest thing that has ever happened to me.” I put
one hand on her waist and took one of hers with my free hand. She rested her
free hand on my shoulder, and we began to sway to the rhythm. I smiled at her. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“How am
I doing?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“With
the dancing or the proposal?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“The
dancing.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Horribly.”
She laughed.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“The
proposal, then.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Well,
I know how it ends, so it’s a bit sad. But, you know, it’s an adventure to find
out what would’ve happened if I hadn’t totally won.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You
didn’t win.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yes, I
did.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“The
evening isn’t over yet.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I
proposed first. I win.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You
might change your mind by the end of the night.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“We’ll
see.” We danced in quiet for the rest of the song, and after it was over I
kissed her again and led her outside. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“We
have one final stop on our little tour. This one comes from much more recent
history. When I was a freshman in college, I met the most beautiful girl in the
world, and I fell in love with her. I brought her back here with me and we went
out to dinner a lot, as two people who live together tend to do, but my brother
was always there. I thought she was in love with him, ridiculous as it seems
now, so every time we went out I ended up heartbroken because I thought she was
falling deeper and deeper in love with him. One day, though, she told me why
she would never love him, and to celebrate, I took her to dinner the next
night, just the two of us. She didn’t know it was a celebration, and she didn’t
know that that very night I was planning the words that I’m saying to her now.”
Kathy gasped and reached out her hand, taking mine. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“The
place we went is right around the corner,” I said, rounding the corner and
pushing open the door to a semi-fancy Italian restaurant. The violinists were
set up there, playing beautiful music to a room where a single table was set up
with champagne and a delicious-looking meal. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“This
is where I would’ve proposed if I hadn’t lost my head and done it out there in
the street like some commoner.” I joked, leading Kathy through the door. “I
would’ve sat you at this table and told you that you were the love of my life,
you make me complete, blah, blah, blah, and then I would’ve said ‘This is the
last stop on our tour. This is the place we will take our children to. This is
the place I ask you to marry me.’ You would’ve cried—”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I am
crying,” Kathy sniffled, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Okay,
so that worked. Now we sit down to the most delectable food on the entire east
coast.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I
can’t believe I ruined <i>this</i>.” Kathy
gasped, turning in a slow circle, looking at the violinists and the food and
the small crowd gathered outside. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Well,
I like to think that I pulled it off anyway.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You’re
right.” She sighed, “it’s perfect.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Then
you didn’t ruin anything.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Chapter Eight<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
The days leading up to the wedding
were the most stressful of my life, and I’d once had five upper-division finals
in the space of 48 hours. My family members were arriving from all over the
country, and this served as a reminder to everyone present that Kathy’s family
had all declined her invitations. I couldn’t fathom that; an entire family so
cruel, so rooted in their twisted ideals, that they would refuse to come to a
family wedding. A couple of them had legitimate excuses – her aunt’s
father-in-law wasn’t doing well, so that household was spending time with him
instead, a cousin was joining the armed forces – but I truly wished I could
find the rest of her family and pummel them into the earth. Every time an uncle
or grandmother or second cousin knocked on the door, I could see in Kathy’s
face how much she was hurt by her family’s decision. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“I love you.” I reminded her, as my
cousin from Missouri was flittering around the house, cooing over every single
decoration and trinket my parents had amassed. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“I love you, too.” She leaned into
my shoulder. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“I’m so sorry.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“It’s not your fault.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“That doesn’t matter. I’m still so,
so sorry.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“I appreciate that.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Do you want to see something?” I
asked, taking her hand. “Come here.” I led her down the hall and into my
bedroom. I opened the closet.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Are you going to show me your
dress?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Yup.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“You can’t do that!” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Yes, I can.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“I don’t want to see it!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Are you sure?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“It’s bad luck.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“You’re not a man. It’s only bad
luck for a man to see his bride’s dress before the wedding.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“I want to be surprised.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Okay, then. I’m sorry.” I closed
the sliding door.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Hey, no. Don’t be sorry. It was
thoughtful. Thank you.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“You’re welcome.” I took her hand
and sat on the bed. “Are you nervous?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“I’ve had my wedding vows planned
since I was eight, I’m marrying the love of my life in the perfect setting, I
look damn good in my suit. Of course, I’m nervous.” She sighed and sat next to
me. “I don’t know, it’s weird, I feel like I’m about to go onstage in the
school musical and I haven’t rehearsed.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“I know the feeling. I’m trying to
tell myself there’s nothing to be nervous about, but I feel so scared.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“You’re making the right decision,
right? This is what you want?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Kathy, are you serious?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Well, I’m just asking.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Of course, I’m making the right
decision. Marrying you is the best decision ever made in all of human history.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“You’re cute.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“I’m right.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Okay.” She grinned and rested her
head upon my shoulder. From the living room, my father called my name. I stood,
kissed her on the forehead, and went to him. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“An unexpected group has appeared,
and I don’t know where to seat them.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Well, who are they?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Kathy’s parents.” He said this so
casually, like he didn’t understand its significance. My jaw dropped.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Are you serious?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Yes, of course I’m serious. They
just called your mother. They want to surprise Kathy.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“We have to tell her.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“We can’t tell her! They wanted it
to be a <i>surprise</i>.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“What they want doesn’t matter. She
has to decide if she wants them here.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“They’re her parents, of course she
wants them here.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“She doesn’t like them, and she has
reason.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“My parents are here?” Kathy asked.
My father and I jumped; we hadn’t heard her enter, but of course she had. I
crossed the room and took her hands.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Apparently so. Do you want them
here?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“No.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Are you sure?” My father needled.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Dad, I’m sure she’s sure.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“I’m sure.” She nodded.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Okay, then we won’t have them.” I
looked at my father. “The Brangers are not invited.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Is my sister here?” Kathy asked,
and my father glanced at a note he had in his hand.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Yes.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“She can come. Cameron can come,
but my parents can’t.” I understood. Cameron had stuck with Kathy through their
parents’ cruelty. My father, however, didn’t get it. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Surely if you can stand having one
family member here…”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“No. My parents are not invited.” She
turned and fled the room, and soon I heard her crying. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Dad!” I said, shocked. “How could
you? You <i>know</i> what horrible people
her parents are. They practically kicked her out when she came out, and when
she told them about us, they literally kicked her out. If you’d done that to
me, I wouldn’t want you at my wedding.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“But just earlier you were angry at
her family for not coming. I don’t understand what goes on in your head.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“We were angry at her family for
being so ridiculous that they let their convoluted beliefs get in the way of
their family. We are still angry about that, and her parents can’t fix it.
They’ve been awful to her for years.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Maybe they’re trying to make
reparations.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“I’m sure that’s not what they’re
doing.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“How do you know?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Dad, it’s Kathy’s wedding, hers
and mine. Neither of us want her parents here, and that’s final.” I turned on
my heel and retreated to my bedroom, where I found Kathy on my bed, holding my
wedding dress in its plastic bag.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Thank you.” She sniffled. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Oh, babe, are you okay?” I asked
sliding onto the covers next to her. She nodded.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“This is… absolutely beautiful. It
does make me feel better.” She smiled faintly, and I wrapped an arm around her.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“So you’re okay with the spoilers?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“It was worth it.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“You haven’t seen me in it yet,
either.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“I can picture it.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“I promise you, you can’t. It’s
absolutely stunning.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Trust me, I can picture you
looking absolutely stunning. You’ve looked that way every time I’ve looked at
you, ever. And I’ve seen you after four shots of tequila. I’ve seen you with
the flu.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Is this from your vows?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Oh, honey, this little speech has
nothing on my vows.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Wow, I can’t wait.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“You interrupted my pitch.” She
kissed me softly, and kept talking. “I’ve seen you after pulling four
all-nighters in a row. Your eyes were redder than anything I’d ever seen but
you were still the most beautiful thing I had ever laid eyes on. I’m absolutely
certain that you will look amazing in your dress, but I am also absolutely
certain that I’m prepared for it.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“I don’t think you are. You
remember the formal sophomore year?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“We were barely out.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“I wore that purple dress with the
black skirt? Your jaw literally dropped?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“That <i>was</i> remarkable, I grant you, but I think you look amazing all the
time.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Yeah, I’ve got it. I’m just
saying,” I leaned in and whispered in her ear, “you are <i>so</i> not ready for me in this dress.” I kissed her ear and hung the
wedding dress back in the closet. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Well you’re not ready for me in my
suit.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“That, I agree with. You never
cease to amaze me. I look forward to it.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Chapter nine<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We got married on a beautiful Saturday in May. I don’t know
if I’d ever seen more perfect weather. We were at an inn on Lake George, Kathy
had wanted to get married at an inn since she was a little girl, and I’d wanted
to get married at Lake George for as long as I could remember. I was standing
just inside the doors on one side of the porch where I was about to marry the
love of my life, and I knew she was tucked away on the opposite side. We had
decided that neither one of us would walk down the aisle alone, rather we’d
walk up it together once we were married. “It’s super symbolic,” she’d said,
“and it makes it less of a business deal.” I’d agreed. My mother and young
cousin were with me; we were all to walk out together when the music started,
hopefully at the same time as Kathy, her sister, and her friend from high
school. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“That’s
our que!” My mom whisper-shouted as a lilting Gaelic melody flowed from the
speakers. We pushed open the heavy door and stepped onto the porch. We had
timed it perfectly. I smiled so widely that my cheeks hurt as Kathy stepped
through the door. I gasped. She really did look amazing – her suit was tailored
absolutely perfectly, her tie was somehow both ridiculous and stunning, and her
entire face was lit up with a smile. When we made eye contact, she winked, and
it was all I could do not to laugh. I bit my lower lip to keep from smiling
quite so much when we met in the center of the porch and joined hands. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The ceremony went by in a blur until the vows. The minister
– a friend from college who’d become deputized for the occasion – announced
that we had each prepared something to say, and Kathy, as had been agreed upon,
cleared her throat to speak first. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Well,
I don’t know what Jeff’s talking about ‘prepared,’ I stole this from the
internet.” Our friends and my family chuckled as she unfolded a piece of paper.
“No, that was a joke, I did write this. Crystal, I know it’s customary to say
in one’s vows that today is the day I’m giving you my heart and my hand to love
and to hold for the rest of your life. But that’s simply not true.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She paused for a second, and nobody took a breath until she
continued. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“You’ve had my heart since the moment
I laid eyes on you, and you’ve had my hands since the very first time you held
them. I have, then, only a few things left to say. When we were first dating, I
told you that I didn’t believe in soul mates. At first you were hurt, and I
felt like a monster. I need to amend that today. Your love, your belief in me,
the time we’ve spent together, and my love for you has proved to me beyond a shadow
of a doubt that not only do soulmates exist, but that you are mine.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Tears pricked behind
my eyes and I willed them not to come out, but I felt them start streaming anyway.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“You know as well as I do that my
family is not the most supportive, but from the day I met you, you have been
the only family I have needed, and you always will be. I promise to be faithful
to you and only you, I promise to shoulder your burdens with you to make them
lighter for you to bear. I promise to support you in your every endeavor, I
promise to live in truth with you, and I promise to love you until my dying
day.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
By the time she finished, the audience was a blubbering
mess, and I was right there with them. It was my turn to speak, so I swallowed
hard, wiped my eyes, and took Kathy’s hands in mine. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I don’t
know how I’m supposed to follow that,” I giggled nervously, before making eye
contact with Kathy and letting the rest of the world melt away. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Kathy,
this is the best day of my life. But until today, until this moment right here,
the best day of my life was the day I fell in love with you, the day I knew I
was going to marry you, the day you told me my shirt looked better tucked in.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A tear tracked its mascara-laden path down her cheek and it was
all I could do not to reach up and wipe it away.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“I am not making any promises to
you today.” I took a page out of her book and paused for effect before
continuing, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“I don’t see what I’m about to say
as promises; I see them as privileges. I get to laugh with you and cry with you;
I get to run with you and walk with you; I get to grow with you and live with
you; I get to care for you and share with you. I am blessed enough to be able
to respect you, be faithful to you, trust you, celebrate your triumphs, and
love you in times of trial and failure. I get to be your playmate, your navigator,
your sidekick, your helper, your best friend, and your wife. I get to give you
my whole self, and I get to be with you until the very end. Thank you for
letting me be a part of your life, and for letting our separate lives become
one life. I love you so much.” I clumsily slid the ring onto her finger as I repeated
after Jeff, ending with that fateful “I do.” Kathy did the same, tears running
freely down both our faces. We kissed delicately and promenaded down the aisle
to a much more celebratory tune than the pastoral one we’d entered to. I held
her tightly as staff came out to move the chairs from the ceremony to the tables
set up near the tree line. We walked slowly to the head table, holding hands
and smiling. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“That was beautiful.” I said, glancing
up at her. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Are you kidding? Everything you
did surpassed mine by a million miles.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Did not. But hey,” I gestured to myself,
“The dress.” She stopped and looked at me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“The DRESS.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Were you ready?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“I was far from ready.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Right?” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“The only thing more attractive
than you in that dress is you out of that dress.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Hey!” I chided her, grinning, “there
are children here!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“I try to ignore the fact that our
college friends are having kids already.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“I had friends from high school
with kids while I was in high school.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“I’m so sorry.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Hey, you two!” My mother shouted, “Get
over here for toasts!” She waved hugely and pointed to the two seats designated
for us. We smiled and walked to our seats.<o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
The first toast was my brother’s.
He stood, awkwardly clinked his spoon against the side of his glass, and
cleared his throat. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“When I first met Kathy, she’d come
home to New York with my sister from college in California. I have to say, I
fell in love the instant I saw her.” Kathy groaned, and I blushed and squeezed
her hand. “But the thing is, I always saw something between her and my sister.
At first, I didn’t know what to think of it, and then it became clearer.
Nonetheless, when they finally made it official, I was heartbroken. I didn’t know
what to think. I felt like I’d failed, somehow, or that my life would forever
be incomplete. But Kathy and Crystal, your union has done the opposite of
damage me. Separately, you are both amazing people who are absolute pleasures
to be around. Together as one, you are a force of nature. Your relationship is
an inspiration and a wonder, and it makes me infinitely proud of both of you
that you were able to rise above the biases in the world and create this
magnificent love that you share. Kathy, I will be forever grateful to you for
bringing so much joy to my family, and especially my sister, who means so much
to me. Crystal, thank you for being the best sister anyone could ask for. Thank
you for not killing me when I was such a douche around the girl you were in
love with. Finally, thank you both for showing us all what real love looks
like. To Crystal and Kathy, may their influence always be positive, and may
they always be happy.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
I glanced at Kathy to make sure I
wasn’t the only one getting emotional, and I was pleased to see that I wasn’t.
The cloth napkin in front of her – it was embroidered with our initials, my mom
had ordered them as a wedding gift – was stained with makeup, and her eyes were
red. I kissed her on the cheek, and stood to hug my brother.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Was that okay?” He asked concernedly.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Seriously? Jon, that was stunning.
Really, absolutely beautiful. Thank you so much.” I hugged him tightly, and
then returned to my seat.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
None of the other toasts were
nearly as incredible as my brother’s, though my father’s speech on his
realization that I was gay brought up a few tears. After Kathy’s sister was
done speaking, the food was served, and music started playing. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Will you dance with me?” I asked,
taking Kathy’s hand.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Only if you’re about to propose.” She
raised her eyebrows, and I laughed.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Well, see, we’re at our wedding.
It’s a bit late for that. But if you’d like…” I rearranged my skirts as though
I were about to kneel.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Oh, god, no, I was kidding!” Kathy
laughed. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“So was I,” I said with a wink. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Come on, let’s dance.” Kathy said,
walking to the stone patio in the center of the tables. “Hey, DJ!” She called
to Greg, who was standing near the speakers with his iPod, “Play something
slow!” The 80’s rock beat (Kathy’s choice) switched to a much slower ballad (my
choice), and Kathy wrapped her arms around my neck. I grasped her waist
gingerly and we revolved slowly in a circle. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“You know,” I said, “So much of our
relationship has been perfect, but tonight was the most perfect thing I think I have ever experienced. It was just... amazing. Thank you."<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Are you nuts? Thank <i>you</i>. This night has been absolutely perfect."<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“It’s crazy, when you think about
it, just how damn cute we are.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“The cuteness is all you, babe.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“You’re funny.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I left Kathy’s side for a grand total of ten minutes that
night – we each danced with my brother – and I could not have been happier. My heart had never been as full of love as it was that night, and I doubted whether it ever would be again. <o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Martha Kinsfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02560413512634559263noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1220275160698817248.post-21538249500533838202015-01-05T20:28:00.001-08:002015-01-05T20:28:49.667-08:00The Dark, chapter 3So I know it's been two days since I updated, but I was gone all day on Sunday. So here's chapter 3...<br />
<br />
<div style="page-break-inside: avoid;">
Chapter 3</div>
<div style="page-break-inside: avoid;">
“Oh, my
god,” Marie said again. “Oh, my god, I killed him!” She put her
hand on the wound in his head, and gasped again. A strange heat was
flowing from her spine out to the tips of her fingers, which were
placed lightly on Stephen's forehead. She watched in amazement as her
brother's temple healed, slowly somehow expanding back out, smoothing
his forehead over. Slowly, the boy's eyes opened. He blinked, slowly,
and then again, as if he was disoriented.
</div>
<div style="page-break-inside: avoid;">
“What...
just happened?” He sat up, and rubbed his temple. “I could swear
I was... the voice in my head...” he stopped speaking, looking
around wildly as if afraid. “I'm dead, aren't I? I'm dead, and you
guys are like my... judgment, or something. Right?” He asked, and
the boys burst out into laughter. “Dude, Stephen, are you serious?
Marie just... fixed you. You were dead, and she touched your forehead
and she... fixed you.” This from Johnny.</div>
<div style="page-break-inside: avoid;">
“Johnny,
what have you been smoking? There is no way that Marie would ever fix
me.” Stephen fixed his cold, blue eyes on Marie. “Would you?”</div>
<div style="page-break-inside: avoid;">
“I
didn't... I didn't do it on purpose. I sort of... it was an accident.
I didn't know that I could. I've never... had any of this happen
before.”
</div>
<div style="page-break-inside: avoid;">
“Any of
WHAT?” Stephen looked at my brothers, clearly almost as confused as
Marie felt. “What the hell is going on?” Harold volunteered an
answer.</div>
<div style="page-break-inside: avoid;">
“Well,
Marie has some superpower, like, super-strength, or something. She
kicked you in the head and killed you. Then she touched your forehead
and she... she fixed you. I don't know how.”</div>
<div style="page-break-inside: avoid;">
“Neither
do I.” Said Marie, quickly. “I have no idea why any of this is
happening. I just... you guys, this is going to sound absolutely
crazy, but--”
</div>
<div style="page-break-inside: avoid;">
“Sis,
after what just happened, I don't think much is going to sound crazy
any more.” Johnny interrupted.
</div>
<div style="page-break-inside: avoid;">
“This
might. Just... let me talk, okay? Okay. So, earlier, I went into
dad's study.” The boys all leaned a bit closer. The study was
nearly taboo for the siblings. “And his wardrobe – remember the
wardrobe we were never, ever allowed to touch? - was open. And so, I
walked up to it and I looked inside. And there was, literally,
nothing.” The boys all sighed, clearly thinking that to be the most
anticlimactic ending ever. “Wait, though, I mean <i>literally
nothing.</i> No wood at the back of the wardrobe, no dust, no
clothes, nothing. Just like... a black hole. In the wardrobe. And I
felt this thing, like a vacuum, trying to pull me in. And then there
was this minotaur – I know, I told you this was crazy. And he said
'your father sends his regards.' Oh, and he smashed through the wall
and jumped out.” Marie's brothers were looking at her like she was
nuts.</div>
<div style="page-break-inside: avoid;">
“Johnny, I
take it back,” Stephen said, then looked at Marie. “What have <i>you</i>
been smoking, Marie?” Marie sighed.</div>
<div style="page-break-inside: avoid;">
“I'm
telling you the truth. You know what, come here.” Marie stood and
walked to the door. “Come and see.” Followed by her brothers,
Marie walked down the hall and pushed open the door of the study.
</div>
<div style="page-break-inside: avoid;">
“What the
hell...” Marie said in disbelief, as her brothers laughed.
</div>
<div style="page-break-inside: avoid;">
“See, told
you it was all crap,” remarked Johnny.</div>
<br />
<div style="page-break-inside: avoid;">
“No!”
Marie shouted, staring at the spot in the wall where the hole had
been just an hour before.</div>
Martha Kinsfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02560413512634559263noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1220275160698817248.post-39603285366194832222015-01-03T20:01:00.002-08:002015-01-03T20:01:39.410-08:00The Dark, chapter 2My daily chapter :)<br /><br />
<div style="page-break-inside: avoid;">
Chapter 2</div>
<div style="page-break-inside: avoid;">
Marie turned
from the hole in the wall, her heart pounding, a scream hovering in
the back of her throat. She ran towards her bedroom. As she
approached the door, the sweet smell of apples reached her nose. She
tried to turn the knob, but the door was still locked. She reached
under her shirt and pulled the key for the door out of her rather
large locket that her father had brought her from Africa around ten
years ago. She slid the key into the lock and twisted it until she
heard a <i>click</i>. She pushed her door open and was met with
resistance. She peeked through the gap she had created and saw one of
her brothers, Johnny judging by his height, lying flat on his
stomach, evidently passed out, holding her door closed. Marie pulled
back her foot and kicked him sharply in the ribs. He didn't wake, but
curled around his ribs, groaning softly, giving her enough room to
get the door open. Marie took a breath and stepped inside.</div>
<div style="page-break-inside: avoid;">
Her room was
a mess. The apples she had brought lay scattered, most of them
smashed to a pulp, which explained the smell. Holding her hand before
her nose, tiptoeing around a pile of vomit presumably left by Harold,
who was lying with part of his face in it. Marie shuddered. Hardly
above leeches and slugs on the list of things she detested, her
brothers were the most repulsive things she had to spend the majority
of her days with. Marie stepped onto her large bed, grabbed her money
box from under the mattress. From there she took a leap onto her bed
pillows, which were piled in front of her closet, from which she
grabbed her three best pairs of pants and her two worst, some shirts,
a few dresses, a basket, and two hats. She crept around Stephen,
squeezed through the gap in the door, and locked the door behind her.
Sprinting past her dad's study, she ran to her mother's room. Ever
since her mother had passed away when Marie was ten, the room had
been left in a state of preserved perfection. She crashed rather
unceremoniously through the door and dropped onto her mother's bed,
which released a huge puff of dust. She started coughing as she shut
the door, then she looked around herself. Her mother's name had been
Marina, and somehow this looked like the room of a Marina. Maybe it
was just because, when Marina had first died, right after the boys'
mother, Gertrude, had moved in down the hall, Marie had spent almost
all of her time in her mother's room, crying to the emptiness and the
way the room still smelled like her mom; like that one perfume she
had always worn. Marie remembered when, for years after her mom had
passed, she had stood in front of the mirror in her mom's favorite
dress that she wore on dates with her dad, wearing her mom's best
pearl necklace, drenched in Marina's rose perfume, staring at her
reflection and wishing to God that her mom could come back. She, of
course, couldn't. Marie realized this now, though when she was seven,
she had thought that if she wished hard enough, she could once again
experience the happiness of being loved by a mother, of having
somebody to talk to, her wish would be granted.
</div>
<div style="page-break-inside: avoid;">
In the
present, Marie walked around the room, examining the photographs, the
books, the jewelry and makeup, everything that she had left of her
real mom.</div>
<div style="page-break-inside: avoid;">
“Oh, mom,
I need you. Am I crazy? I don't know if I am or not, but what I saw
can't exist... can it? Oh, geesh, I'm talking to a dead person.”
Marie had to hold back a sob. “Of course I'm crazy. It's kind of
obvious, right? Mom, if you're out there, if somehow you can hear me
like you always said you could, I need your help, mom...” Trailing
off, Marie flopped down on the bed again, letting out a sob and all
the tears she had been holding back since the episode in her father's
study.
</div>
<div style="page-break-inside: avoid;">
“Mommy!”
she yelled, pounding on Marina's favorite pillow, unleashing more
dust. “I need you, mommy!” As soon as she finished her sentence,
Marie heard a voice crooning outside the door.</div>
<div style="page-break-inside: avoid;">
“You need
your mommy? I'm here, you delicious little morsel... Come out, come
out, come see your mummy...” The door slammed open suddenly, and in
the opening Marie saw Stephen, Harold, and Johnny, each holding a
heavy stick which Marie recognized as the legs from her 19th-century
desk brought back by her father from Switzerland when Marie was nine.
Marie sat up, pulling down her blouse, scooting back so her back was
against the headboard of her mom's bed.</div>
<div style="page-break-inside: avoid;">
“What do
you boys want? Why can't you leave me alone?” to her own horror,
Marie felt tears hovering, just on the brink of spilling. “Why
can't you just go away and throw yourselves off a bridge?” Another
sob shook Marie's shoulders as she analyzed the looks being given her
by her brothers. They were mostly amused and devilish, but there was
some wariness there, as if they were afraid that Marie had some trap
in store for them. Johnny was the first one to speak.</div>
<div style="page-break-inside: avoid;">
“Why
should we leave you alone, Marie-girl? We love you. We love you very,
very much.” To Marie's shock, his voice sounded almost sober, and
very sincere.</div>
<div style="page-break-inside: avoid;">
“You don't
love me. You don't know what love even feels like. You can only lust.
You can hunger for flesh and burn with desire, but that is not love.
That,” another sob, “is not even CLOSE to love. Get OUT of my
mother's room, go away, and LEAVE ME ALONE!” Marie had stood on her
bed, fury and tears burning in her eyes. Harold and Johnny took a
startled step back at her outburst, but Stephen stood his ground and
raised an eyebrow at her.
</div>
<div style="page-break-inside: avoid;">
“We don't
know what love is?” he sounded pissed. “We loved our mother. We
didn't lock ourselves in our rooms and refuse to speak or eat while
we let her DIE! That's what people who can't love do. People like
YOU.” Marie took another step towards him.</div>
<div style="page-break-inside: avoid;">
“Take that
back, Stephen. Take. That. Back.” Stephen chuckled.</div>
<div style="page-break-inside: avoid;">
“Or what?”
he asked, the look on his face unbearably smug. Knowing that she
could do practically no damage, Marie cocked her left leg up, spun on
her right foot, and snapped her foot out, connecting her heel with
Stephen's forehead. She heard a crack, and toppled off the bed,
landing right next to her brother, who was lying still on the ground,
blood trickling out of a small indent on his head.
</div>
<div style="page-break-inside: avoid;">
“Oh my
god,” Marie whispered, crawling to her brother. Harold and John
were already there, Harold with his ear against Stephen's chest.
Harold looked up at Marie, eyes wide.</div>
<br />
<div style="page-break-inside: avoid;">
“You
killed him, Marie. You killed him.”</div>
Martha Kinsfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02560413512634559263noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1220275160698817248.post-54984103750111019662015-01-02T22:22:00.000-08:002015-01-02T22:22:41.735-08:00The Dark, chapter oneSo this is a page-a-day novel that I'm writing this year, and these are the two-ish pages that I have completed so far. This is the first chapter. (For some reason my blog doesn't leave my format so it looks kind of ugh)<br />
<br />
<div style="page-break-inside: avoid;">
Chapter one</div>
<div style="page-break-inside: avoid;">
The house wasn't the same for her
anymore. Its halls, once seeming so comfortable and radiant, now were
confining, dark, and drafty. Ever since her father had disappeared three weeks ago, she hadn't been able to bring herself to enter his
study, once the hub of her and her siblings' fun, as it was always
full of little treat boxes that their father had brought back from
his travels abroad, as well as all the puzzles, games, and toys that
she or her brothers desired. The study, where her father had last
been seen, was now regarded by herself and her peers as off-limits,
though whether because it was hallowed or haunted, nobody could quite
tell. She pushed open the door to her bedchamber to find her three
step-brothers lying sprawled on her floor.</div>
<div style="page-break-inside: avoid;">
“Oy, Maria! Glad to see you're
finally back! Did you bring us something from Wingate?” Maria's
stomach churned. Her brothers had teased her ever since she was
young, but, lately, ever since the man of the house (the boys'
step-father, her father), had gone, their jokes had taken on a
different tone. Even as she thought this, the oldest of the boys,
Stephen, reached up a hand and pulled her to the floor. She hit hard
on her tailbone, and the basket she had been carrying, filled with
apples from one of their mansion's many orchards, tipped on its side,
spilling its contents all over the floor.
</div>
<div style="page-break-inside: avoid;">
“Leave me alone, Stephen.”
Maria tried to walk away, but Stephen wouldn't let go. He let her stand
up, then twisted his grip on her ankle so that she fell again, this
time right into the lap of Harold, the youngest of the three. He
wrapped his arms around her and proclaimed,
</div>
<div style="page-break-inside: avoid;">
“Look what I have here, boys!
Lookie what I got!” Johnny and Stephen immediately threw themselves
onto Harold, half-jokingly trying to get Maria away from him. She
wriggled out of the heap and onto her bed.
</div>
<div style="page-break-inside: avoid;">
“You're all drunk!” She
yelled. “You've been at dad's liquor, haven't you. You all ought to
be ashamed of yourselves. Leave me alone!” Johnny looked up at her,
his eyes bleary under the alcoholic mask.
</div>
<div style="page-break-inside: avoid;">
“Now, I was agreeing with you
right up until that last sentence. You shouldn't have said that last
sentence, Maria. Now I'm going to getcha!” Johnny leaped up onto
her bed, missed landing on Maria by about three feet, which gave her
the time to jump off her bed, slide out the door, and lock it behind
her. She stood with her back to the locked door for a second or two
before bolting to the study. The one place they would never look for
her. She slammed the door open and stepped into the room. As she
eased the door shut, she decided that the room looked just like it
did when Maria's father was around, except that the one thing her
father never allowed the children to touch – his wardrobe from
Saudi Arabia – was open. Unable to resist her curiosity, Maria
peeked inside. What she saw made her step back. A huge void, filled
with nothingness, no light, no dust, no anything, lay where the back
of the wardrobe should have been. Maria reached her hand forward and
it went past the ends of the walls of the wardrobe, into this void,
and she could feel a gentle force, like a vacuum turned on low,
pulling at her hand, trying to get her to come in farther, come
closer, closer, closer. Maria leaned forward a bit more, and
suddenly, a small set of jaws, like that of a snake but with lots more teeth snapped shut just below her hand. The spell was
broken, as if the vacuum had been shut off, and Maria, too terrified
to speak, crawled out of the wardrobe, clicking the doors shut behind
her. She sat against the wall, crying silently, scared enough to want
to talk to her brothers, but smart enough to know that that would put
her in a much worse spot than she already was. Wait... her brothers.
<i>Surely,</i> Maria thought,<i>
this is just some elaborate joke contrived by those evil, devilish
things.</i> She slid up the wall
until she was in a standing position.
</div>
<div style="page-break-inside: avoid;">
“All
right, good joke, boys. You can come out now!” She crept towards
the door to the hallway. “I suspect you think you're smart, don't
you? But I've got you figured out. So ha! You can... come out now...
boys?” Her hand on the door, Maria heard a noise from behind her. A
sort of bestial growl. She turned, slowly, expecting to see one of
her brothers standing a few feet from her. Instead, she saw a huge
beast, part man, part bull, standing across the room from her.
Maria's spine tingled in fear and anticipation, and she felt dread
burning in her gut like acid.
</div>
<div style="page-break-inside: avoid;">
The
minotaur took a step towards Maria, and only then did she notice the
large stick he held in his hand. He spun towards the outside wall of
the study and smashed his stick through it, letting in cold air and a
darkness that seemed to want to swallow the room.
</div>
<div style="page-break-inside: avoid;">
The
beast turned to Maria, wind from outside bringing its horrific stench
to her nose.</div>
<br />
<div style="page-break-inside: avoid;">
“Your
father sends his regards.” it said, leaping out the window and into
the darkness.</div>
Martha Kinsfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02560413512634559263noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1220275160698817248.post-18765268187446211292015-01-02T20:08:00.002-08:002015-01-02T20:08:21.302-08:00The Technologically Impaired files: part 1.So, I'm on tumblr (If anyone reads this and you have one, too, follow thedramagirl99), and one of my tumblr followers (you know who you are and you are awesome, my friend) asked me if this name is a pseudonym. Because I am too technologically impaired to reply to her reply to my tumblr post, I want to take this opportunity to state that Martha Kinsfield is a pseudonym that I came up with a couple years ago. This is the only way I could think of to contact said tumblr follower as I am so (you guessed it) technologically impaired.Martha Kinsfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02560413512634559263noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1220275160698817248.post-61844657990860340782015-01-02T18:34:00.001-08:002015-01-02T18:34:12.469-08:00I Am Number Four movie critique.<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Sooo here's the thing: I recently became obsessed with the "I am Number Four" books. They are, in my view, excellent and well worth reading, just in case you're curious, which you probably aren't. Anyway, I got the movie from my local library quite a while ago and just now got around to watching it. If you haven't read the books, STOP READING THIS NOW. If you have not watched the movie and would like to experience it for yourself, STOP READING THIS NOW. If neither of the above is true, please continue reading,<br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Before I truly begin, I should say that I like to think about movies that are based off of books in two ways: One, its relevance as an adaptation of said book, and two, its appeal to me as a movie in and of itself. In the second respect, the movie would rank pretty high for me. It was decently made, with good quality actors and actresses (though the casting quality was very poor), and good CGI for the Pikens and the Chimaera. In the first respect, however, I felt that the film was somewhat (Or, okay, a great deal) lacking. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I wrote down a lot (three pages) of the things that I remembered that had been left out of or added to the movie I am Number Four. I will go over the list in what I see as the order of importance. I'm not going to use numbering because that would just take way too long.<br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">IF YOU NOTICE ANY FLAWS IN MY CRITIQUE PLEASE TELL ME SO I CAN CORRECT THEM ASAP.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">The most important thing I noticed was the timing of Henri's death. I don't have the book here in front of me as I write this, but I do distinctly recall Henri's death occurring very close to the end of the book, with him helping the teenagers fight the Mogadorians and definitely his being there when Six reveals herself. In the movie version, he dies on the trip home from the "They Walk Among Us" (which was, by the way, a website, NOT a newsletter/magazine/whatever) studio thingy. Also, I noticed that when the Loric die, they dissolve into ash, much like the Mogadorians, in the movie version. This is not supposed to happen! John has to cremate Henri after they stay in a hotel for a while while he recuperates, which also did not happen!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Basically the entire ending seemed kind of screwy. The battle with the Mogs only lasted like twenty minutes, while it at least seems like it lasts much longer in the book. Remember that thing when John was battling the Mog where they were transported to that place where the trees died and John used his legacies? Didn't happen. Also: They made it so that six is the one resistant to fire. WHAT????</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">John already knew about Legacies in the book, right? He knew about his super-speed and super-strength, right? I mean, I know he was shocked when his Lumen started working, but he evidently had no idea what the Garde were, or legacies, or any of it. Another issue I noticed regarding the legacies was that both John and Six seemed to possess a legacy that is very similar to that of flight, if it isn't actually flight. At least, they seem to be able to jump superhumanly far, which I do not recall being in the books. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">As my fellow blogger, BookTalk, puts it, </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">"<span style="line-height: 20.7900009155273px;">Sarah just wasn't what I pictured. I'm not sure how to describe how she looked, but something was off for me in her character. Also, she was supposed to be more popular in general. As for her personality, she should have been less mysterious and more outgoing, friendly, and open about her feelings." That is exactly how I feel about her character. I also feel like her relationship with Four was really underplayed.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 20.7900009155273px;"><br /></span></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;">Actually, let me revise that last sentence: I feel like everybody's relationship with (number) Four is really underplayed. Specifically Henri, Sarah, and Sam. But even Mark James was more involved with John than he was in the book. Henri's lack of relationship with John made it a lot less tragic when Henri died. They took out the majority of their relationship and basically portrayed Henri as a kind of mean, mainly oppressive, overprotective guardian, as opposed to the great man that John Smith saw him as. For one thing. all of the training sessions where Henri and John open the chest and examine its contents were eliminated, as well as when John was being trained to use and develop his legacies, including his RESISTANCE TO FIRE WHICH THEY GAVE TO SIX. I am sorry, but that REALLY REALLY BUGGED ME.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;">On the note of Six, I feel like she was way too cool/sexy for her character. In the books she is definitely slightly cool and mildly sexy, but in the movie, it gets really overplayed. I also missed the moonlight walk with Six where they almost kissed and the house exploded because that adds a lot of tension to the relationship that John has with Six and Sarah later on. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;">Sam and John were supposed to bond a lot sooner than they did, because John was less popular and Sarah was more popular. Also. it really irritated me how not obsessed with aliens Sam was. I mean, that was the reason that they found "They Walk Among Us," in the book. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;">Sarah and John as an item were incredibly underplayed. It's not like the details of their relationship was incredibly important to the plot or anything, but they were significant (and positive) things in John's life. For example, home economics was completely cut out of the storyline, which made me kind of sad. It's where they did most of their flirting, and it really gave S&J some background so it wasn't just like "oh hey there's this cute girl I like... oh, hey, she stalks me,., Oh, hey, we're making out. In front of her parents." It made their relationship mean more and feel less rushed and insignificant. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;">Aand now for the list of incredibly minor details that are still niggling at the back or my brain.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;"><br /></span></span>
<br />
Sarah's mom was the real estate agent for John and Henri, and they actually bought the house.<br />
<br />
Sarah didn't get in trouble for her pictures; her and John met in Home Ec.<br />
<br />
The dinner at Sarah's parents was all wrong; it wasn't supposed to occur until Thanksgiving, which is when Henri tracked down "They Walk Among Us."<br />
<br />
John could not control his Lumen for a really long time, after a lot of training.<br />
<br />
The Loric chests were completely underdone. John never even opened his to discover the planets, the healing stone (which is what was used to heal BK and himself), or any of it.<br />
<br />
Bernie Kosar did have tags, that's how he got his name.<br />
<br />
Sarah's scrapbook = what????<br />
<br />
Six was SO not supposed to be in the movie as early as she was.<br />
<br />
TWAU (They Walk Among Us) mentioned Mogadorians, it did not have a video of John.<br />
<br />
When John first reveals the fact that he is an alien to Sam, Sam takes it as a joke. Then, later, he pulls a gun on John.<br />
<br />
The Mogadorians never found the Loric or Sam in that one house. John carried them and jumped across the gap between roofs.<br />
<br />
The Locator rock thing was not supposed to ever happen until like book 3. It wasn't even a rock; it was a tablet.<br />
<br />
The police do not raid John's house<br />
<br />
John was invited to the party with Sarah<br />
<br />
The house caught on fire and J rescued S and some dogs from the fire.<br />
<br />
The stuff in J and Sam's lockers was manure, not paint.<br />
<br />
Sam didn't have a stepdad in the book<br />
<br />
The fair didn't happen... it was a carnival with a hayride<br />
<br />
Sam was supposed to ride the hayride with them<br />
<br />
Sam's mom and Henri were supposed to meet.<br />
<br />
Henri was supposed to have a French-ish accent<br />
<br />
Sam and John were really good friends by the hayride<br />
<br />
John and Sarah did not get their uber-special makeout moment together during which John told her that he was Loric<br />
<br />
John's house was supposed to be a trashy mobile home. Not a fancy 2-story house.<br />
<br />
<br />
And I'm sorry but I just have to rant again<br />
<br />
THEY DIDN'T GIVE JOHN HIS CONTROL OF FIRE OR HIS FIREPROOF ABILITIES THEY GAVE THEM TO FREAKING SIX.<br />
<br />
So yeah. If you read this far, you are truly amazing. If you didn't, oh, well, moron. ;)<br />
<br />Martha Kinsfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02560413512634559263noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1220275160698817248.post-19477075935931186362014-09-19T17:54:00.001-07:002014-09-19T17:54:37.708-07:00I GOT MY BLOG BACK!!!I AM DOING A HAPPY DANCE BECAUSE I WAS ABLE TO LOG IN TO MY BLOGGER!!!! I've been off for almost a year and I finally was un-stupid enough to see if my browser had (duh) saved my Marthakin password and (duh) it had! So YAY!! I have another blog but I don't use it nearly as much as I used to use this one.<br />
So! Lost of stuff has happened since October 13, 2013 (My last post, which was actually in the Art Room computer lab at my high school) I'm a Sophomore now, enrolled in three honors classes and one Junior-level class (Chemistry). Since that date I have had two boyfriends (Neither one lasted long but I still miss the first one [geesh it sounds like I'm talking about a dog. Sorry, James.]) I have a fanfiction.net account that makes me happy because people actually seem to enjoy my fanfic as it has about ten favorites (I know that's a tiny number but hush) and I have a tumblr! It's TheDramaGirl99. You guys should follow me. On Tumblr. Not in real life. But I mean if you're an attractive single male in your mid-teens, in real life is okay, too! (Just kidding... maybe...)<br />
I am reading The Maze Runner right now. SO GOOD. If you've read it, please please please don't spoil it because you wouldn't like me if I was angry.... My best guy friend who is a Freshman at my high school made me read the Song of Dragons trilogy and that was also kind of amazing.<br />
My (15th) birthday is coming up and I'm hoping to have a few of my gal friends over for a movie watching Night of Epic Proportions but I have to clean my room first. :'( I'm in another high school play! This is my third one! It's called No Signs of Intelligent Life and my English teacher wrote it. It is super funny and my character (an alien posing as a substitute teacher) can breathe out her butt which is kind of like okaaayy, Starchman.... and is also kind of like LMFAO. I'm also in a (really really dark) community theater production that goes up two weeks from today and that everybody is terrible at so far. I should really be doing my Algebra II honors stuff right now but I don't feel like it. I also saw today that my blog has 606 pageviews. DO YOU GUYS HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH THAT MEANS TO ME??? No. You don't. Just kidding, you're all probably much better than me and your blogs probably have waaay more than 606 pageviews. ANYWAY. I have a couple other blogs that are for my classes, but those aren't fun like this one is<br />
I WILL POST MORE BUT I HAVE TO GO NOW<br /> THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH<br />
Marty :) <br />
<br />
<br />Martha Kinsfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02560413512634559263noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1220275160698817248.post-37907170839972838322013-10-09T14:07:00.001-07:002013-10-09T14:07:33.223-07:00High SchoolOh my gosh I love high school! it is SO FUN! This is my Freshman year and I thought I wouldn't be able to go to the high school but I can and I am so happy! I have a lot of friends and everybody's really nice to me!<br />
Just had to share.<br />
<br />Martha Kinsfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02560413512634559263noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1220275160698817248.post-38053938912782736612013-05-06T21:33:00.000-07:002013-05-06T21:33:30.516-07:00Verbal catch-upSo. Let's see. I need to catch people up on my life. I'll start in March, I guess. I went to Local Presentation Day with our 4-H group and then proceeded to Regionals and on the twenty-fifth of May I'll be going out to Davis for state. I am doing an interpretive reading from Old Possum's Book Of Practical Cats (The poems behind the musical <i>Cats), </i>So I am very happy about that.<br />
I am now Secretary for our 4-H club which is a mixed bag... mostly a blessing. Also I joined my 4-H Relay For Life team (if you should happen to want to support me with a donation you can google Mariposa Relay For Life.... I'm not sure where to go from there. :) ) Relay is from the 18-19 of May and I am working really hard on some crafts for that which I will be selling there... things like totebags and water-bottle holders and purses and stuff.<br />
I have read lots of books since my last update (some are re-reads....) like Dear Julia (Book review on that later) Zia, Connie Carl At Rainbow Ranch (A better book than it sounds like) and some others. I FOUND MY CAMERA. And I am just so happy. I also found my knife that I got on Christmas and lost THE DAY AFTER. I went to an MCHS concert with JUST MY COUSIN (which was kind of nerve racking at first but turned out just fine) I am reallly into cooking (not, like, french-chef into it but like I will cook [especially bake] whenever I can and I love it,) I have MORE COOKBOOKS THAN MY MOM (And since I am 13 and she is 38 I am very excited about that),<br />
We have ducklings (photos oncoming; there are also some on my facebook) and they are SO CUTE.<br />
I really like writing short stories (if I come up with some that are good enough I will maaybe post them on my blog -- maybe I'll even start a new blog just for my stories.)<br />
I recently went on a really incredible trip to the MVTF (Military VBehicle Technology Foundation) armored vehicle museum in Palo Alto. It was great fun. Photos in my photograph catch-up. <br />
<br />
I discovered my new favorite music videos of all time..... Mean by Taylor Swift and Clown Shark by Rhett and Link (my AMAZING favorite internetainment people). Here they are....<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBALsWwxPf0 (This one is mostly funny+a little terrifying)<br />
<br />
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYa1eI1hpDE (And this one is just plain touching) <br />
<br />
<br />
Thanks for reading!!!!<br />
<br />
Martha K. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Martha Kinsfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02560413512634559263noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1220275160698817248.post-19247618094024976692013-05-06T21:13:00.001-07:002013-05-06T21:13:58.405-07:00The stormfor the past three hours or so it has been non-stop thundering (sometimes like a semi-truck fell on the roof) and lightning-ing and windy and for the past hour or so it has been raining, Here are some pics... Now it's dumping buckets outside.... we really really needed this rain. Praise the Lord!!! <br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ1UDc6X-ccOzl3mVJEf0EhPXpGPkOuJ5pbWhNkIR2IrAaaTISy4IKTAHi0-IAz_bClOUyfPkcW9j1j72hGmwyPPLaU8aTWxehc4x9IE7d_FzZ6ecTyMiZgrIU0woI-lLoitmS-lHdsZJa/s1600/SAM_0969.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ1UDc6X-ccOzl3mVJEf0EhPXpGPkOuJ5pbWhNkIR2IrAaaTISy4IKTAHi0-IAz_bClOUyfPkcW9j1j72hGmwyPPLaU8aTWxehc4x9IE7d_FzZ6ecTyMiZgrIU0woI-lLoitmS-lHdsZJa/s400/SAM_0969.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lightning and our Flag Pole</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5f69x0IQaNA6Btxg1b3HXXC1UeqkQLUUQQPZOpX7ZT0liihrzlY3lyo2xcxLQJ2kVbdItCozvQgk8cSNmpsa-zxc_GT4f6mm5ldT4mwJqZ2ldMViYHiTSIJ_bvFWkcJw27j6RP9tqZMlt/s1600/SAM_0972.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5f69x0IQaNA6Btxg1b3HXXC1UeqkQLUUQQPZOpX7ZT0liihrzlY3lyo2xcxLQJ2kVbdItCozvQgk8cSNmpsa-zxc_GT4f6mm5ldT4mwJqZ2ldMViYHiTSIJ_bvFWkcJw27j6RP9tqZMlt/s320/SAM_0972.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Please forgive the towel on the fence... this is SERIOUSLY the lightning lighting this up. The sky was just as dark as tin the rest of the pictures. </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEho-Tvmz4K3YxMzmC_6QqhwrJ32c3Awp1ZJvz-0rFxR2-ul0ALHOWd-8_bYZzTmXfXqmI5LhZqj3s5beO8Gv5AIr31SMmCNCsMDIpuDzbFJ6TQgPJHhTGQ6DzvVTqRALShPh0ztvDZnDOXY/s1600/SAM_0974.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEho-Tvmz4K3YxMzmC_6QqhwrJ32c3Awp1ZJvz-0rFxR2-ul0ALHOWd-8_bYZzTmXfXqmI5LhZqj3s5beO8Gv5AIr31SMmCNCsMDIpuDzbFJ6TQgPJHhTGQ6DzvVTqRALShPh0ztvDZnDOXY/s400/SAM_0974.JPG" width="400" /> </a></td><td style="text-align: center;"> </td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Aaand my personal favorite.... this is in the same flash as the oen above that illuminated the entire sky.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> </td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> </td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> </td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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Martha Kinsfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02560413512634559263noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1220275160698817248.post-74112023697365503672013-05-05T16:15:00.001-07:002013-05-05T16:15:30.590-07:00picturesI FOUND MY CAMERA MY CAMERA MY CAMERA!!! Oh I found my Camera and I am now so happy! And so are you, right? right? because now you get more photos!!!! :) :) :)<br />
<br />
also we just got some ducklings so there will be photos of those....<br />
<br />
but later. ALL LATER. When I have time to upload sixteen photos. :) Martha Kinsfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02560413512634559263noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1220275160698817248.post-56624506559188988402013-03-17T20:47:00.000-07:002013-03-17T20:47:41.339-07:00Ah, the sadness.My dearest public, <br />
<br />
I am very disappointed in myself for alas, I have LOST MY CAMERA. So no photos for you!<br />
And I am also very disappointed in my lack of LHOP reviews.<br />
<br />
Sorry,<br />
Martha K. Martha Kinsfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02560413512634559263noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1220275160698817248.post-6260627992948681102013-03-17T20:44:00.001-07:002013-03-17T20:45:02.111-07:00Jane Eyre, starring Toby Stevens Ruth WilsonThis. Was. The. Best. Jane. Eyre. Movie. Adaptation. EVER.<br />
<br />
It was almost perfect. They nailed Jane's plainness, however, as always, Mr.Rochester was far too dreamy and handsome. (They're both supposed to be plain). I loved their minor additions to the storyline. It was an extremely crying and laughing movie. It even made my MOTHER (who is a Jane Eyre FANATIC) wonder what was going to happen and be all emotional when they finally found each other again. I loved loved loved this movie and it certainly was the best adaptation I have ever seen. I would recommend this movie for ages 12+.<br />
<br />
Martha K.Martha Kinsfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02560413512634559263noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1220275160698817248.post-80400243446976059462013-01-05T22:20:00.003-08:002013-01-05T22:20:44.877-08:00The last 2 days of photo-taking.OK, so I am brewing an LHOP post (thinking maybe only those on week days...) and right now I am going to do today's and yesterday's photos.<div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6231aCWjzg-FRmnwWcnyTxAoewksQx_LpZ0Q1fgcB0OKRBAgfH29jEq1w2kbbI7IPigK2uBvPmz0yhpbHl3dqKQNutEHoK9ugXOqoeMcP6nSkmyytRBta6w81NSalRibFeGuUCRbWsNk6/s1600/SAM_0381.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="132" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6231aCWjzg-FRmnwWcnyTxAoewksQx_LpZ0Q1fgcB0OKRBAgfH29jEq1w2kbbI7IPigK2uBvPmz0yhpbHl3dqKQNutEHoK9ugXOqoeMcP6nSkmyytRBta6w81NSalRibFeGuUCRbWsNk6/s320/SAM_0381.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yesterday's pic. This is one of my mom's tricks, and I really like it.</td></tr>
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Up a tree</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgckbBVoXgY9__EC8pM7bCY7uyKHJKJ3XWWyqz9mTVT4tf0d2VeJQTPsBVcXwaxdp18rBjsS9yFFf8tJMSQQY6otiLssCGhQicrL0O08uDDvX9eNZmkbY8Te2OcSqroezH7ZsjKMFaC_Hgt/s1600/SAM_0400.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgckbBVoXgY9__EC8pM7bCY7uyKHJKJ3XWWyqz9mTVT4tf0d2VeJQTPsBVcXwaxdp18rBjsS9yFFf8tJMSQQY6otiLssCGhQicrL0O08uDDvX9eNZmkbY8Te2OcSqroezH7ZsjKMFaC_Hgt/s320/SAM_0400.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I was kind of hard up for a picture today, so I took a b&w photo of some mushrooms she was putting into dinner. YUM.</td></tr>
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Black and white mushrooms.</div>
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Martha Kinsfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02560413512634559263noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1220275160698817248.post-36355799910432620362013-01-04T21:17:00.000-08:002013-01-04T21:17:40.527-08:00Project 364 - off to a late startI have wanted to do what my mom does, which is take a photo every day for a year, but I forgot to take a photo on New Year's, and then yesterday I forgot to post one, so here are the first 2 photos of my Project 364.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiClKNXBVNVn6dsz1XeBYNfkKYrNfKQTUQJ9Ph8AVsodcfx-DJ4QQngU4jYxsaoXheLJBHReXCaIKRrFzxYG9jiGah9ym0lNPS5p9x7Mful1fIj-mIpApEeC_fzw4LPmfxh_u068swidE3h/s1600/SAM_0359.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiClKNXBVNVn6dsz1XeBYNfkKYrNfKQTUQJ9Ph8AVsodcfx-DJ4QQngU4jYxsaoXheLJBHReXCaIKRrFzxYG9jiGah9ym0lNPS5p9x7Mful1fIj-mIpApEeC_fzw4LPmfxh_u068swidE3h/s1600/SAM_0359.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is yesterday's picture, it's a fence on our neighbor's property. I like the lines and repetition in this photograph.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsFlNH98iK7xG4QLvPfIa6TZ4PccYqFQP_BHdJyvtGYJDXtA0EN8C4RpNR8yYWOqeLXQG5UA8P0H0jKD9KoP9e3VlZtf-1kUxjhKRf1SX63c3xTbxHdQOpGfmB3MPRWRsDuBUZihRff64o/s1600/SAM_0366.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsFlNH98iK7xG4QLvPfIa6TZ4PccYqFQP_BHdJyvtGYJDXtA0EN8C4RpNR8yYWOqeLXQG5UA8P0H0jKD9KoP9e3VlZtf-1kUxjhKRf1SX63c3xTbxHdQOpGfmB3MPRWRsDuBUZihRff64o/s1600/SAM_0366.JPG" height="225" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is the sunset at my house through some trees. I really like the colors in this one.</td></tr>
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<br />Martha Kinsfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02560413512634559263noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1220275160698817248.post-8130605739599486592013-01-03T13:04:00.002-08:002013-01-03T13:04:57.408-08:00Season 3 episode 8 "The Bully Boys"Day 8<br />
<br />
This is the episode where the 3 Gallander brothers come to town and get run out on a rail. But minus the rail.<br />
<br />
The episode begins at the new Gallander homestead, with the brothers getting ready for a day in town. After a short period of conversation, they all leave. Bubba goes to school where he abruptly gets off to a bad start by pushing Willie off the seat for making fun of his name. Later that day, he hits Mary and shoves Laura. His older brothers, John and George, go to the Olsen mercantile where they purchase $15 worth of goods, which they charge, but promise to pay back with a bank draft on Friday. Then they go to the lumbermill, where they order a wagonload of wood, with the same promise of payment as they used at the Olen's. Because they want to build right away, they are given a wagonload that was originally intended for a man who doesn't need to build for two weeks. However, they promptly sell it to that same man for $3 less. Later, on Friday, their paycheck hasn't come in yet, and their excuse is because of the rain. When they aren't in Church on Sunday, Reverend Alden pays them a visit, and they feed him a load o' lies saying that their ma is sick, and that was why they had to sell the lumber. The next day, Caroline is walking to town with eggs when she is grabbed and manhandled by the two oldest brothers. This makes Pa mad, of course, and he goes and beats up the two brothers, except that they beat him up badly. He busts 3 ribs. The reverend does not approve at ALL of that.Only when he finds out that HE has been wronged by the Gallanders does he actually get physical with them, and they didn't offend him NEARLY as much as they offended Charles. In the end, the all the schoolgirls (and Willie) except for Nellie (who is sweet on Bubba) beat up Bubba, and he and his brothers all three get run out of town on Sunday.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Doc Baker looks grim:YES<br />
Pa broke a bone: YES (ribs, even! I wonder if Pa has any ribs that haven't been broken?)<br />
Somebody cries: YES ( Laura, Caroline)<br />
Pa cries: YES<br />
Runaway Wagon: YES (with an unconscious Pa in it!)<br />
"Oh, Pa!": YES (Are you alright?)<br />
Pa punches someone; someone punches Pa: YES YES YES YES!!!!<br />
Reality
Check: A big boy like Bubba would never get away with physically and intentionally hurting litteler girls like he did.<br />
Crackpot theology: YES (Rev. Alden justifies the Gallender's behavior by saying: When faced with violence, they reacted with violence! Because he says that them manhandling his wife was just not enough motivation for Pa to go and beat up the Gallanders. But them lying to him [the Rev.] was enough motivation for HIM to get physical.)<br />
<br />
Quote of the episode:<br />
"I'll take a plow handle and when I get through, those boys will be too sore to wear their hats." ~Mr. Edwards, offering to deal with the boys after Pa is beat up. His offer is rudely rejected.<br />
<br />
My Personal Feelings:<br />
This is a very very special episode. ALL THE TROPES HAPPENED!!!!! Oh my gosh I can't believe it!!!! YAY!!!! Finally. We had one where NONE happened and now we have one where ALL happened. I am ecstatic!<br />
Martha Kinsfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02560413512634559263noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1220275160698817248.post-71666784666537309242013-01-02T23:14:00.001-08:002013-01-03T11:31:17.376-08:00Season 3 - episode 7HAPPY (late) NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br />
<br />
day 7<br />
This is the episode where Laura adopts a troublesome goat and he keeps being very troublesome to all of the townspeople.<br />
<br />
The beginning of this episode is a billy goat in a field chewing hay. You then see the goat's owner, a man named Luke, feeding a horse in his barn. Shortly he bends over and the goat charges him and puts him through the wall of the barn. Laura has been working for this man's wife since Monday, and a slightly confused Luke is about to pay her (While his wife fetches his rifle to shoot the goat), but he finds that he only has one cent less than what he owes her. Laura proposes that she take the troublesome goat instead, since he is going to be killed, and he doesn't seem too mean to her. Suddenly, Luke changes his tune, and starts singing (not literally) the goat's praises, saying that he's not so mean, and he's really taken to Laura ("like a hornworm to a tomato, and that's a lot of tooken!" as he puts it), and he's the last of his kind, and would she really save him from death like that? Laura takes him home, naming him Fred, and her family is not too thrilled. Charles, who has spent all day harvesting rushes to sell to a man named Jenks, makes the awful mistake of bending down in front of Fred, and, just as Ma was about to tell him about Fred, he came flying out of the barn, butted by Fred. That night he tells Laura that Fred has to go because of the extensive damage that he had done to the barn, unless she can think of a reason to keep him. The next morning Fred has eaten lots of the rushes that Pa worked so hard to harvest. While Laura, Mary, and Fred set off to town, Pa sets off to gather more rushes. Before school, Laura convinces Willie Olsen of how wonderful goats are, including the delicious cheese that they make, and Willie buys Fred on the spot. Fred, who is tied to a post in the Olsen yard, eats the wash AND butts Mrs. Olsen who falls in the mud (YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY HA HA HA). After nobody will take Fred including Mr. Edwards, who gets butted, Carl and Laura put him in Mr. Edwards' secret thinking spot (it's a still), where he promptly gets drunk. They take him to the doctor, who gets butted, then to Reverend Alden, who gets.... guess what... butted! Then they decide they have to let him go. He runs off and gets in the wagon of the cheater Jenks, and eats all the rushes, so Jenks comes to Pa and pays him $12 to harvest more rushes. Ma, Mary, and Laura all agree that that is a good reason to keep Fred, so Laura goes out to find him. After five minutes of searching, she gives up in hopeless defeat, until she hears the bleat of a goat. She chases down Fred and tries to take him home, but is surprised when he runs away. Then (to slow jazz stripper music) she discovers that he has a whole herd of Nanny goats now. She leaves him to that and goes on with life.<br />
<br />
<br />
Doc Baker looks grim:YES<br />
Pa broke a bone: NO<br />
Somebody cries: YES ( Laura)<br />
Pa cries: NO<br />
Crop failure: NO<br />
Runaway Wagon: NO<br />
"Oh, Pa!": YES (Fred didn't mean to!)<br />
Pa punches someone; someone punches Pa: NO (but he did do smiley sarcasm to a big fat jerk, so that's close enough)<br />
Reality Check: All those people getting butted by a goat with enough force to go through a wall would be a lot more sore than they were portrayed to be. Also, Nanny goats + Billy goats does not equal women + men, so the stripper music when Fred is with the nannies is a bit.... strange.<br />
Mr. Olsen bullies Mrs. Olsen into behaving like a human being: NO (The goat does bully her, just not into acting like a human being)<br />
Carrie can't act: YES (sorry, Lidnsay Sidney Greenbush, but saying 'I.... LIKE.... Fred...' when you are supposed to be talking normally is just plain not-acting.)-:. )<br />
<br />
All the people who got butted:<br />
Luke<br />
Pa<br />
Mrs. Olsen (HA HA HA)<br />
Mr. Edwards<br />
Doc Baker<br />
Rev. Alden<br />
Jenks (tackled)<br />
<br />
Quote of the Episode:<br />
"That was quite a fiery sermon the reverend gave. I thought he was going to preach on 'love all creatures, great and small'" ~Ma. <br />
<br />
My personal feelings about this episode:<br />
One of the. Funniest. Episodes. Ever. I seriously love this one. I am only dissapointed that the goat didn't trample Mrs. Olsen after butting her. That would have made this my favorite episode by far.Martha Kinsfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02560413512634559263noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1220275160698817248.post-76928299287367400182012-12-31T12:53:00.000-08:002013-01-03T11:31:33.774-08:00Season 3 episode 6: Journey in the springday 6<br />
<br />
This is the episode where Charles brings his Pa back to their house in Walnut Grove after Charles' Ma dies.<br />
<br />
This one's a 2-parter, so the synopsis will be rather long.<br />
The episode begins with Lansford Ingalls (Charles' pa) and Charles' Ma Laura receiving a letter from Charles Ingalls, inviting them to come and stay in Walnut Grove with them. That day Charles' Ma passes away. When Charles Ingalls receives that letter, he decides to go and get his pa. After a couple days of persuading, and one suicide attempt on the part of Mr. Ingalls, Sr., Lansford is finally convinced by Charles to come back to Walnut Grove. When he meets Laura Ingalls Jr, he is elated to discover that she is just like his wife was. Later, however, sadness strikes. While Laura is showing off her horse to her grandfather, she charges him through a barbed wire fence. Bunny has to be shot, which breaks Laura's heart, not only because she loved Bunny, but because Lansford had promised that Bunny would be well again and that Charles would not hurt Bunny. Bitterness stays between Laura and her Pa until the next day, when the family returns from a picnic to find that Lansford (who had decided to stay home so that he would not get between Laura and her Pa) has run off. The next day, after a hard night of searching, they awaken to find that Laura and their Christmas money (upwards of 4 dollars) were gone. Laura has gone to the Springfield train station to try and find her grandpa, who had been found lying by the railroad tracks after trying to get into a boxcar on a freight train the night before. When Lansford refuses to go back to Walnut Grove, Laura starts to buy a ticket to Boston, but is stopped by her grandfather, who finally agrees to go to her house and stay until Winter is over.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Doc Baker looks grim: NO<br />
Pa broke a bone: NO<br />
Somebody cries: YES ( Laura x2, Lansford)<br />Pa cries:YES (x 6, because his ma died)<br />
Crop failure: NO (but Charles wrote about 'unless we have crop failure' to his Pa, so IT IS COMING.)<br />
Runaway Wagon: NO<br />
"Oh, Pa!": YES (Please don't shoot bunny!)<br />
Pa punches someone; someone punches Pa: NO<br />
Reality Check: NO<br />
Mr. Olsen bullies Mrs. Olsen into behaving like a human being: NO<br />
Unexplained absence of a main character: NO <br /> <br />
My personal feelings about this episode:<br />
This is a very sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad SAD SAD SAD SAD episode for me as a horse lover. I have loved these things since I was two, and I cried my guts out when Bunny died. I had to have my mom hold my hand and hide the screen. YES I KNOW I AM A TOTAL BABY AND YOU KNOW WHAT I DON'T CARE. (-:<br />
<br />
Martha Kinsfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02560413512634559263noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1220275160698817248.post-51529139469056311122012-12-30T18:05:00.000-08:002012-12-30T18:07:35.604-08:00Another craft project completed.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: black;">Yesterday I started fabric cutting on cloth that I got 3 years ago for
the purpose of making a tote bag. This morning, during 'The Empire
Strikes Back' I pinned and did the final cutting. Then I started
sewing. I started at ten-ish and, after quite a few interruptions, I
finished at 3:15. I was really surprised by how quickly this went and
how nice it came out. Here are some pics</span>:</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2kMy7s00G0oy1YyV2uWSbyI_QKYz1GjjJRQnPuMprmY7hxoH4qyBUX301f8roFHYX1slQplnQc0LO2yBGb-PyClNvyPeJVZZmStSHua-BGdzIGcMUvU3U1_ivF2OmsP8wkg__efbQYzv6/s1600/DSC_4001.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2kMy7s00G0oy1YyV2uWSbyI_QKYz1GjjJRQnPuMprmY7hxoH4qyBUX301f8roFHYX1slQplnQc0LO2yBGb-PyClNvyPeJVZZmStSHua-BGdzIGcMUvU3U1_ivF2OmsP8wkg__efbQYzv6/s1600/DSC_4001.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2kMy7s00G0oy1YyV2uWSbyI_QKYz1GjjJRQnPuMprmY7hxoH4qyBUX301f8roFHYX1slQplnQc0LO2yBGb-PyClNvyPeJVZZmStSHua-BGdzIGcMUvU3U1_ivF2OmsP8wkg__efbQYzv6/s320/DSC_4001.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoC1M-SMki_qmEjtG5ZdlRoYxnK19TLHCD3XUtGcnJp8LhPRr1I4kcggmyZYIVunxuat6SucUBWopPVzDqYpU64ybjlHtdTNbqsgca_xbqeHsAcQsqwO4TtzxKspDB5Aa7XLS-n6o6AI9R/s1600/DSC_4004.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoC1M-SMki_qmEjtG5ZdlRoYxnK19TLHCD3XUtGcnJp8LhPRr1I4kcggmyZYIVunxuat6SucUBWopPVzDqYpU64ybjlHtdTNbqsgca_xbqeHsAcQsqwO4TtzxKspDB5Aa7XLS-n6o6AI9R/s320/DSC_4004.JPG" width="320" /></a>Here it is, by itself. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4AslhoYljz6fHHZrNvsBMqNyG5pLxiwdrYAqQZ_OGQVvPHyalNax91l9tQmvyE_qWcGPn14Pho8xZTfXl-9yBbc3T4ZuDr-aBpMeppC-gD9rbRYSHcbzHBvHIKIK49G3ni38a6X-d0jIk/s1600/DSC_3999.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4AslhoYljz6fHHZrNvsBMqNyG5pLxiwdrYAqQZ_OGQVvPHyalNax91l9tQmvyE_qWcGPn14Pho8xZTfXl-9yBbc3T4ZuDr-aBpMeppC-gD9rbRYSHcbzHBvHIKIK49G3ni38a6X-d0jIk/s320/DSC_3999.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
Just a little close-up of the SO-CUTE cloth<br />
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I used some of my Mom's old muslin to line it and make pockets.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6Z6st8X12ylyJlwUvJaF4GEJtobtb3HLobvrLKHnhhF48RKvj0_Ww4mBg6HdJATWVkH6N6TcBnlU1uAH6LNfNWVoqTAVelpPwdorcz9TyyPa8hCHaCcLlYN1CWd6_lSbxUeI72hJxaaMj/s1600/DSC_3998.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6Z6st8X12ylyJlwUvJaF4GEJtobtb3HLobvrLKHnhhF48RKvj0_Ww4mBg6HdJATWVkH6N6TcBnlU1uAH6LNfNWVoqTAVelpPwdorcz9TyyPa8hCHaCcLlYN1CWd6_lSbxUeI72hJxaaMj/s320/DSC_3998.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
< here I am holding it up to give you some perspective on the size.<br />
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<span id="goog_248399504"></span><span id="goog_248399505"></span>Martha Kinsfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02560413512634559263noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1220275160698817248.post-23826426428413292992012-12-30T16:51:00.001-08:002012-12-30T16:52:12.066-08:00Season 3 episode 5: The Monster Of Walnut GroveDay 5<br />
This is the Halloween special.<br /><br />
The episode begins with Laura telling the story of Ichabod Crane and the Headless Horseman to her little sister Carrie. The two oldest girls leave for soaping the Olsen's windows right after that. Laura goes around the corner from Mary in order too get to windows without soap already on them. While she is away from her sister, Laura sees Mr. Olsen and hears Mrs. Olsen fighting over the budget and whether the sword that Mr. Olsen had bought was real or not. In his anger, Mr. Olsen appears to chop off Mrs. Olsen's head with his sword. When Laura tells Mary, her Ma, and her Pa, none of them believe her. She decides to walk to school with her friend Carl, whom she is distressed to find does not believe her, either. Throughout a series of circumstances, Carl, Laura, Willie, and Nellie are all briefly (but extremely - They think they saw Mr. Olsen carry away the body in a black bag [ he was carrying off a new dummy]) convinced that Mrs. Olsen is dead. Then Nellie and Willie find out the truth - that Mr. Olsen cut the head off a dress maker's dummy - and decide to use it to their advantage. Willie tells Carl and Laura that he heard his father digging in his cellar and that he found an apron covered in blood (really, it was red sauce) in his kitchen. He asks them to come to his house to go in the cellar with him, where Nellie is waiting to play a ghost. The trick goes very well for Nellie and Willie, in fact, it went even better than they imagined, for Carl and Laura, coming out of the cellar, saw a rather haunting Mrs. Olsen standing outside the house looking in. Later, after having the truth told to them by a rather startled Mr. Olsen, they drop the dressmaker's dummy's head down into the cellar with Nellie and Willie, which frightens them both very much. The closing shot is of the Headless Horseman galloping through Walnut Grove.<br />
<br />
This was a very boring episode for the Trope Tracker (literally, NOTHING ON IT HAPPENED), and, other than the whole ghosts-are-fake and Mr.Olsen-is-way-too-nice kinds of things, there wasn't really a thing for Reality Check. Sigh.<br />
<br />
Quote Of The Episode:<br />
"I'm afraid of feet" Carrie Ingalls.<br />
<br />
My Personal Feelings about this episode<br />
Well, my feelings about this episode <i>now</i> are way different than my feelings about it when I watched it for the first time in the ER when I was six. <i>Then</i> I was scared out of my skin. Especially in the nightmare scenes. Really, I was terrified by this episode. But <i>now</i>, on the other hand, I kind of laugh at this episode. Their attempt at making this a short movie that would scare a ten-year-old is kind of weak, and it makes me laugh. I am sorry if anybody who reads this is genuinely scared by this episode. Martha Kinsfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02560413512634559263noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1220275160698817248.post-61584911725885751312012-12-29T14:04:00.004-08:002012-12-29T14:46:25.753-08:00Book Review: Where I Belong, Gwendolyn Heasley<i>Where I Belong</i>, by Gwendolyn Heasley, is about 16-year-old Corrinne Corcoran, who lives every girl's dream in New York. But all her happiness is supposedly ruined when her father gets laid off, so she and her brother have to go to Broken Spoke, Texas, to live with her grandparents.<br />
<br />
I started this book because I thought it would be a good book about a city girl who adapts to country life, but it really is not a very good book and I didn't like it. I mean, she always talk about wanting to go to bars where they don't card so that she can get drunk with her friends, she lusts after a cowboy who is a rock star and doesn't realize that he is not a good boy for her to be with, she disrespects her grandparents, and there are a couple S and D words. She actually hates her mother and flips the bird at other people quite a few times. She worries too much about calories, whether 'cute' or 'hot' boys like her, and she disses her best friend and her parents and grandparents a bit too much for my taste, and she just makes me a little sick how she constantly talks back to others and she talks too much mess about the country life (like Sonic being a big deal. Hello, if we had a Sonic where I live I would be talking about it to all the new people!) for my taste. On the one bright-ish side, later in the book, she is a little changed and doesn't want the punky,
whining cowboy who works with her in the barns, to like her anymore (although that is mostly because she thinks he is cheating on her with her friend Waverly). Overall, I would not recommend this book to anyone under the age of 14, mostly because of some of the bad values and morals that Corrinne's story encourages. Sorry if I have offended anyone who likes this book.Martha Kinsfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02560413512634559263noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1220275160698817248.post-82467976739805459432012-12-29T13:46:00.000-08:002012-12-29T13:46:13.743-08:00Season 3 episode 4 -- The RaceDay 4<br />
<br />
This is the one where Laura and Nellie race in the 3rd annual Hero Township horse Race.<br />
<br />
This episode begins with Laura's horse Bunny throwing a shoe while she is exercising him for the Big Race in two weeks. When she goes to get him re-shod she finds out that - even at Mr. Dorlfer's lowest price - it would cost an amount of money that she could not possibly afford, because her family can't even afford to get their own children's shoes. The next day, however, Laura asks Mr. Dorfler if she can work for him to pay it off. While she is working, Nellie and Willie come in chanting 'Laura smells like a dirty horse' but she deals with that by covering them both in poopy straw. After a breakdown at her dinner table, Nellie says that she wants a new horse. So her disgustingly doting mother goes to Minneapolis to buy her a thoroughbred horse. After a very inexperienced test ride, she picks a very pretty bay horse, named Sparks. There is a lot of drama about how Nellie will lose because of her extra weight, so Willie is going to race, but Willie eats 6 candied apples so Nellie has to race, but Bunny just ran a long ways very fast, so Nellie will win, but Bunny is a natural-born competitor, so Laura will win.... In the end, Bunny wins the race, but Laura gives Mrs. Olsen the cup back, so Nels makes Mrs. Olsen give them new shoes.<br />
<br />
LHOP Trope Tracker<br />
<br />
Doc Baker looks grim: NO<br />
Pa broke a bone: NO<br />
Somebody cries: YES ( Laura, Mrs. Olsen, Nellie)<br />Pa cries:YES (When Laura wins the race<br />
Crop failure: NO<br />
Runaway Wagon: NO<br />
"Oh, Pa!": YES (Bunny can't possibly race!)<br />
Pa punches someone; someone punches Pa: NO (Laura came very close to punching Nellie)<br />
Reality Check: Only about one in a million horses could possibly run about five miles going maximum speed and <i>then</i> sprint two miles and win a race without ever getting passed by a well-exercised Thoroughbred, even if his load is 5 lbs lighter.<br />
Mr. Olsen bullies Mrs. Olsen into behaving like a human being: YES <br />
Unexplained absence of a main character: NO <br />
<br />
Quote Of The Episode:<br />
OK, Willie and Nellie have just walked into the barn chanting 'Laura Smells Like A Dirty Horse'. Laura pitches hay onto them. Laura:<br />
"Don't We All?"<br />
<br />
My Personal Thoughts About this Episode:<br />
Um... I like this episode because it has horses in it... and also, Mrs. Olsen gets bullied out of being a bully, but it is a little tiny bit crazy... There is a recurring thing on this show where once there is a streak of things being nice, they are all the way nice. Like in the race, Bunny never gets passed, even though he just ran a five-mile stretch at top speed about half an hour ago (That sort of thing would be good in real life, but it never hardly ever happens). Martha Kinsfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02560413512634559263noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1220275160698817248.post-57246698701110454652012-12-29T12:40:00.001-08:002012-12-29T12:42:31.323-08:00Season 3 episode 3 - BunnyDay 3<br />
<br />
This is the episode where Nellie mistreats Bunny and gets in an accident and over exaggerates her pain. Or rather, her not pain.<br />
<br />
In the beginning of this episode Laura picks an apple and gives it to Nellie's horse, Bunny (it used to be Laura's). Later, Nellie is riding Bunny and mistreating him badly, so bunny takes off running. He goes under a branch that whacks Nellie in the face, causing her to fall off of the horse and have a bloody nose and a small concussion. She pretends to be paralyzed in her legs. Her mother orders the horse to be shot, so Laura steals him to her house. To make up for what she thought was her part in the accident, she does all of Nellie's homework for her, sacrificing her own grades. After school one day, eleven-year-old Laura makes a "date" with 12-year-old Jason, whom Nellie and Laura have fought over for a long time. Nellie witnesses this and tells Laura that she will hate anybody who ever ever 'shines up to' Jason, so Laura doesn't show up to go fishing with Jason, which makes him mad (oh, the horrible suspense! Will they make up, or will they forever be crushed souls who used to be friends? [for the words 'boyfriend and girlfriend' are far to strong for this]) Later, when Mrs. Olsen is thanking Mr. Ingalls for the wheelchair he fixed for Nellie, she sees that Laura has Bunny in her barn. Laura makes a run for it - straight to the Olsen house, where she witnesses Nellie standing up, and takes her for a ride in her wheelchair up to the top of a hill over a pond. When she sees mrs. Olsen go by on the road below, she pushes Nellie down the hill into the pond, forcing her to stand up. Mrs. Olsen faints and falls on her head, and Laura gets Bunny back.<br />
<br />
LHOP Trope Tracker<br />
<br />
Doc Baker looks grim: Yes<br />
Pa broke a bone: NO <br />
Somebody cries: YES ( Laura [x2], Mrs. Olsen)<br />
Pa cries: NO (Almost, though. He almost cried of laughter when Mrs. Olsen fainted and fell on her head.)<br />
Crop failure: NO<br />
Runaway Wagon: NO<br />
"Oh, Pa!": YES (Please don't make me go in there!)<br />
Pa punches someone; someone punches Pa: NO (Laura came close to punching Nellie)<br />
Reality Check: Laura could have seriously injured Mrs. Olsen or Nellie (I wouldn't have cared. I would have laughed. But.) and she got in zero trouble. <br />
Unexplained absence of a main character: NO<br />
<br />
Quote of The Episode:<br />
Laura Ingalls: "Would I ever lie to you, Nellie?" Yes. Yes she would.<br />
<br />
My Personal Feelings about this episode:<br />
HA HA HA HA HA!!!! This is one of the FUNNIEST EPISODES EVER. But I do have mixed emotions about it because I first saw it years ago when I was about six in the Emergency Room waiting room at ten o'clock at night when my dad needed stitches in his wrist. But it still makes me laugh SO MUCH!! It must have been so satisfying to Laura to push that chair down the hill.... Excuse me, I have to go laugh, and I don't want to shatter the computer screen. Martha Kinsfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02560413512634559263noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1220275160698817248.post-32687533067719925142012-12-27T11:11:00.000-08:002012-12-27T12:29:39.319-08:00Season 3 episode 2 -- I'll Ride the Wind Day 2<br />
This is the episode where John Jr. (Grace & Isaiah Edwards' adopted son) engages himself to a thirteen year old and receives a college scholarship.<br />
<br />
OK, so this episode starts out with John Jr. and Mr. Edwards in a field pitching hay. He meets Mary and finds out that he has been offered a scholarship at the University in Chicago. Claiming that he is now a man, he asks 13-year-old Mary to marry him, and she accepts. When he goes to visit Mary, her Pa keeps trying to get a 'talk' with him, but John always gets off to talk to Mary. Because Mary is upset that Johnny will be gone for 4 years although he comforts her that they will still see each other twice a year, he makes the decision to not accept the scholarship, which makes Mrs. Edwards very mad, but Mr. Edwards (and, at first, Mary) very happy. Soon they start construction on their house. One day, a sobbing Mary has the realization that John would be much happier at the University, and after another bout of sobbing, she bids him farewell on the train platform.<br />
<br />
<br />
LHOP (sadly not Little House Of Pancakes) Trope Tracker for This Episode:<br />
<br />
Generic Neighbor House used: NO<br />
Doc Baker tries to heal dog: NO (in fact most of the townspeople weren't even there, and I kind of missed them. All except the Olsens. Whom I never miss.)<br />
Pa broke a bone: NO (surprisingly, because there was house building going on)<br />
Somebody cries: YES (Mary [x2] MEGA monologue cries)<br />
Pa cries: NO<br />
Crop failure: NO (But they were <i>planting</i> a crop, so you know <i><b>crop failure is coming</b></i>!)<br />
Runaway Wagon: NO<br />
"Oh, Pa!": YES (Mary, for once)<br />
Pa punches someone; someone punches Pa: NO<b> </b>(But it looked like it might go that way with J.Jr.!)<br />
Thing
that TOTALLY would not fly today that miraculously flew in the 70s: YES
(Thirteen-year-old girl [Mary] gets engaged to a fifteen-year-old boy and the parents are fine and happy. SO CREEPY!!!!) <br />
Unexplained absence of a main character: NO <br />
<br />
Quote Of The Episode:<br />
"Well, boy, she's here, she's yours, and you can go to work on her tomorrow!" ~ Mr. Edwards, talking about land, with his fifteen-year-old son and his (son's) thirteen-year-old fiancee in a strong embrace. <br />
<br />
My Personal Thoughts About This Episode:<br />
This is one of the creepiest episodes of all time. Wait. There are seven or eight more seasons to go. Maybe I shouldn't say that yet. But anyway, it's especially creepy for me, as a thirteen year old girl, to think of all the fifteen-year-old boys in my acquaintance and picturing myself setting up house with any one of them... ughhhhh! This is what happens when producers want a show to have a certain story, when the show has no proper fitting characters for that story (Because this episode would have been kind of touching if Mary had been 16 or 18). The result can be very very creepy or very random.<br />
Martha Kinsfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02560413512634559263noreply@blogger.com0